Thyme 4 Tea with Mikita

Stepping Away To Take A Break

September 06, 2022 Mikita S Smith Season 2
Thyme 4 Tea with Mikita
Stepping Away To Take A Break
Show Notes Transcript

Trust and believe everyone needs and deserves a break from it all. I remember when my kids were little when we lived in California I use to pray for just 10 minutes or even 30 minutes to just breathe.
You are strong so much of the time that it is hard to know when to stop and break. Your mental health demands that you rest. I have been there and understand the feeling of doing it all and being everything to everyone.  It's okay to say "I need a break".
You don't have to live in this never stop world of hustle. Working nonstop does not always equal success. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see the bigger picture.
Nonstop work leads to burnout, anxiety, and depression. The key is to find balance.
Take the time to connect with yourself by doing simple and easy breathing exercises.
Benefits of Breathing:
 Breathing allows you to slow down and listen to what you need.
Breathing also helps you to clear your mind and focus on what matters to you the most.
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Mikita  Speaker  0:07  
Time for tea with Mikita  is a podcast about redefining self care. It's about looking at every aspect of our life from music, career, family, relationships and everything in between. It's about spilling tea on those conversations that are sometimes hard to have. Well, we're not afraid to have those conversations right here. Join me as we spill tea on every conversation you ever thought about, dreamed about all whispered about? Hey, y'all. It's definitely time for some tea. Welcome back. It is time for tea. I'm your host Mikita . Thank you guys so much for just sharing your space, your time and your energy with me today. Wow, it feels really good to be back here recording. Oh, my goodness. So as you know, I have taking, I took a break. And I took a nice long extended break. And I love the idea and the process. And the fact that I was able to have control over what I needed when I needed to do it. And when I wanted to come back in creatively, that's been amazing for me. But I had through this journey, it was, I will tell you, it was a very emotional journey. Because

Mikita  1:30  
I had to recognize that I needed a break. Have you ever known you were like tired, mentally, physically just done and you know, you needed a break, but it was like, No, I can't take a break right? Now I really need to keep on I really feel like you know, if I just go a little longer, and then something snaps and it's like, you know what, whether I wanted to take this break right now or not, I have to, I have to give myself the permission to do that. So I felt like that's where I was at,

Mikita Speaker  2:02  
where I had to give myself permission. And the okay to say honey

Mikita Speaker  2:11  
is break time. And it's okay to break.

Mikita  Speaker  2:16  
So if you're feeling like that, if you are feeling like you're just mentally drained, physically done,

Mikita Speaker  2:25  
it's okay. The world will not stop. Because you recognize that you needed something for yourself, trust me, the process. And this self discovery of breaking.

Mikita  Speaker  2:40  
It's not easy, I won't say it was very easy for me.

Mikita  Speaker  2:45  
But it was so worth it in the end.

Mikita  Speaker  2:50  
So let me tell you some amazing things about my journey as I took this break, and I want you to think about your own journey into things that you would like to do when you take a break. And I don't

Mikita Speaker  3:06  
know, for some people, like, you know, I didn't stop working because, you know, besides podcasting, I actually have a job, I'm a nurse, I had to, you know, show up every day for work. But you know what I did, and, and only backup, and I have a college student, so my daughter's going off to college. So it's like a lot of moving pieces, a lot of things was happening during this break. And I had to realize that you know what,

Mikita Speaker  3:34  
I have a moment for myself, though, I have some time to do some things that I've really never thought, you know, I had time for because we're all in this time crunch, where you know, I gotta do this, this, this and this, and this, and this, and I gotta do that. And I never have time for this. But you know, it's just like you're constantly trying to find time, make time, you know, create more time. So during this break, it was like,

Mikita  Speaker  4:03  
I get off work. And I'm just like, What am I going to do? And I felt a little lost. Because before I had this really kind of strict schedule, about what I needed to do on what days and how I needed to do certain things. And then I had this time that was just like, what are you gonna do?

Mikita Speaker  4:24  

Mikita  Speaker  4:26  
for a little while, I did start doing stuff and then I was like, girl back. I'm tired. I don't even want to think anymore. And I gave my permission. I gave myself permission not to think about doing anything crazy, anything worried about anything just

Mikita  Speaker  4:43  
blank out. I didn't need to come up with new ideas. I don't need to do anything. And I allow myself a week of thinking about my next steps how I wanted to do certain things. And it felt great. I felt really great and I was able to really

Mikita  Speaker  5:00  
They're in my head and in that process of clearing my head, and that's what I want you to think about in the process of clearing your head. Because when you take a break, it may not be able to, you know, you may not be able to take a complete, like, month long break from something, especially, you know, if you're an entrepreneur and you're working, you know, you may not be able to take a huge break. But you can take a weekend break, you can take a week break, you can take whatever length of time that you can create, create that break time, and just use it to whatever advantage that you want. You know, and I was able to tap into my, you know, like, like, the creative part of us, because we're all creators, we are constantly creating and coming up with new ideas, new thoughts, and those things, they really energize us, they motivate us, especially if you you've ever come up we had this, like, exciting thought you were like, Oh, my God, like this is gonna be so hot. Oh, my goodness. And you're like, you're super excited and pumped about it. And you share it and you start working on it. And it's just so amazing, because you just birth, this amazing, amazing idea. And that's what it's like taking a break. Taking a break from it all really allows you to tap into your creative zone.

Mikita  Speaker  6:29  
That part of you that you are working so hard to make happen, naturally starts to flow out of you've given yourself permission to just relax, and let it come to you naturally, without the force of trying to make ideas, make things happen, come up with snappy contents and reels. When you're able to just say you know what, I'm going to back up, I'm just going to not try and just let it come to me. So, and in my break, that was one of the things that I found was the most, like beneficial because I tapped into my writing again, I love to write I've always loved to write. So I started a wonderful blog, and my blog is really just about that fun side of me, the side of me, that makes me live so unapologetically the side of me that's like, we're talking about self care, but we have to in self care, you have to nurture all parts of you, you know. So one of the things I love to do, is to take adventures, you know, everything is an adventure. For me, discovering some new history, about a place that I've lived in forever is like what I didn't even know this happened, you know, exploring a museum, going to all these different wineries. And those are my ventures. So I started this amazing new blog called wine and adventures. And I just share my stories. And not just my stories, but my wine adventures. And places that I've been to, that I found to be super amazing that had so much history and culture to it that I never knew existed and was fun.

Mikita  Speaker  8:30  
Because it has to be fun. You know, I'm a fun loving person and fell in love with wine years ago. And it's one of the things that me and my husband love to do is to go to different wineries, festivals and just have fun. So

Mikita  Speaker  8:47  
I did that. And then I took up, I used to take French. So I tap back into that. And I actually started taking some lessons.

Mikita  Speaker  8:57  
Participant amazing. And I was like, This is what I love, like I love the language. And, you know, it felt good to start doing things that I wasn't thinking about how is this gonna? Like, how can I use this to do something else? It was just about how can I make myself happy? And how can I have fun for me. So when you're in your break zone, I want you to think about some fun things that you want to do just for you. Maybe you wanted to take a cooking class,

Mikita  Speaker  9:32  
you know, or maybe you want to take this amazing art class, whatever it is, you know, start researching and looking into some of that stuff, you know, and give yourself permission to just do something fun. That doesn't have any other purpose behind it.

Mikita  Speaker  9:50  
Because I'm one of those people that never stopped just one or two things.

Mikita  Speaker  9:55  
I was like I'm gonna take some boat lessons because we were talking about you know, we're going to go

Mikita  Speaker  10:00  
out on this boat, and I was like, Wouldn't it be nice, you know, if I could, you know, learn how to charter my own boat and, you know, I could, you know, get a boat license, you know, this would be awesome. And, and so much fun. So I did.

Mikita  Speaker  10:17  
And I'm so proud of myself because it's just like, sometimes we put ourselves in boxes. It's like, okay,

Mikita  Speaker  10:26  
I do this, but I also love to do other things. And I know you do, too. You may be great at your job as an entrepreneur, or you know, in your career, but there are so many different layers to who you are as a person, so many things that you enjoy doing, that have nothing to do with what you do for a living. And I think it's important to, when you're talking about the element of self care, when you're talking about the element of living unapologetically, you can't have just one side of you, you have to embrace all of those things. Because all of that makes you who you are today. And tapping in to that creative energy that you have. That's important. I think one of the biggest things for me, during this amazing break, was to tap into all of my creative abilities, and embrace them, and have fun with them, and not try to think about what my next step is going to be. And just let things happen organically and naturally for me. So it's been amazing.

Mikita  Speaker  11:41  
Now, I will tell you some parts of that wasn't amazing, some part I dealt with a lot of anxiety during this break, as well. And I distanced myself from social media, I distanced myself from, you know, a lot of things, just because I needed to find out, like, why am I having so much anxiety, you know, what's causing it like, what what's going on, I've never really dealt with anxiety, but not this level of anxiety, like waking up constantly anxious. So

Mikita  Speaker  12:18  
during this break time, I was able to start exercising, and I realized that maybe my body was just missing movement, and an opportunity to just sit in silence with myself and become, you know, my friend again, you know, sometimes we have to go back to that, you know, you are your first best friend. And you have to get to know yourself all over again at times. So in each stage in my life, and each stage of your life, you have changed, you have grown so been so much growth in you that when you think about where you were to where you are, now you have to get in touch with that person, this this person that you are becoming this person that you already knew you could be but now you are stepping into that that power, that energy, that source of who you are. And you have to get to know that person and what that person needs. So that's why I found myself that like, Okay, I'm taking a break from these things. I still did a little social media, okay. So what I would do is I would plan my content out on Plan Li and, you know, record a real, save it and then just post it and then be off of it. I even set time limits. So I wouldn't catch myself strolling.

Mikita  Speaker  13:40  
Because i ng Allah, you can on Instagram, you can be on Instagram for a minute. And don't even realize, I think that was my biggest thing. Because I was taking this break. And I had no space or energy at the time, like what am I filling it with? I was just struggling. And I didn't even know what I was looking for. I was just looking for something. And that's how I felt like I was looking for something that was really internal. But I was looking for it on the outside. I wasn't sure what it what it was. What was I missing? And I realized what I was missing was that moment to ask myself what I wanted, what did I need for myself. And that's how I was able to tap into that creative energy of me and say, you know, what you need and what you want are the same things. And that is to flow.

Mikita  Speaker  14:27  
I'm going to tell you, you have to be willing to just let go and flow.

Mikita  Speaker  14:34  
The energy of flowing.

Mikita Speaker  14:38  
It's like a river that flows through you in you and out of you. And you have to be willing to just let let it go and enjoy it. So that's that's where I was at.

Mikita  Speaker  14:52  
But now it also came back to a time where I said okay,

Mikita  Speaker  14:56  
break time is over. It is time for you to get back in the studio.

Mikita  Speaker  15:00  
To put them headsets on and speak to the world again, honey.

Mikita  Speaker  15:05  
So I was like, alright, but when do you recognize that it's time to, to get out there? Well, for me, it was understanding that I have a message, I had a lot to say. And I wanted to share, you know, where I was at and where I am now.

Mikita Speaker  15:25  
And the fact is, I love what I do. I truly love it. If I didn't, I don't think I would have ever, you know, continued for this long. And I love connecting with other people, and just

Mikita  Speaker  15:39  
being who I am being me. And I want you to, to enjoy that as well to just love being who you are. And every aspect of it. The Good the Bad.

Mikita  Speaker  15:52  
Because they said ugly, take it all.

Mikita  Speaker  15:55  
So knowing when to say break is over, really depends on where you're at, and how you want to proceed. Because when I recognized alright, girl,

Mikita  Speaker  16:09  
it's time for you to get back in there. It's time. And then it was like, Okay, well, how do I want to do it? Honestly, I just was like,

Mikita  Speaker  16:19  
I just came up with the headphones on. And that was it.

Mikita Speaker  16:24  

Mikita Speaker  16:26  
I'm so glad that I took the break that I did, it allowed me freedom,

Mikita  Speaker  16:32  
it allowed me a chance to

Mikita Speaker  16:37  

Mikita  Speaker  16:39  

Mikita  Speaker  16:40  
as simple as that.

Mikita  Speaker  16:43  
So give yourself all the time that you need to take a break.

Mikita  Speaker  16:51  
And understand what do you want your break to be from? Maybe you need a little mini retreat by yourself.

Mikita  Speaker  17:00  
And one of my blog posts on one of the ventures I talked about that I actually took a mini retreat by myself, for the first time ever in my whole adult life. I have never just

Mikita  Speaker  17:13  
been somewhere that either my kids wasn't with me. My husband wasn't with me, somebody wasn't there. I did, I took an amazing weekend retreat by myself with no plans. And I literally just stayed in my hotel room

Mikita Speaker  17:31  
and wrote, and it felt great. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna tell you it felt.

Mikita  Speaker  17:36  
It felt like magic. It was so amazing that I promised myself that every year, I will do this.

Unknown Speaker  17:46  
I will take a weekend retreat to do something just for me to replenish me to get back to me to level me to be me.

Mikita Speaker  17:58  

Mikita  Speaker  18:00  
I'm just glad that I was able to get to a point in my life where

Mikita  Speaker  18:05  
that's okay.

Mikita  Speaker  18:07  
That I can be by myself. I was the person that would never go out to the restaurant and sit down and eat by myself. Now I'm the person that will take myself out to dinner anytime lunch breakfast, it don't matter. But you know, that's a different level of where you're at. And I know some of you already do that. And I'm just like an all of the people that naturally like I don't care, I can sit up here and eat by myself anytime.

Mikita  Speaker  18:35  
Kudos, girl.

Mikita  Speaker  18:38  
It took a little longer for me, but I am proud that I got to that step. And like I said, many retreats are amazing. Because they're, they're about you.

Mikita Speaker  18:51  
You cannot continue to give in life and never get back to you.

Mikita Speaker  18:57  
Let me say that again. You cannot continue to give in life and never get back to you. And I'm not gonna lie I felt a little guilty about oh, no, hold on. I was super excited.

Mikita  Speaker  19:08  
I was a little nervous about telling my husband I wanted a break for home.

Mikita  Speaker  19:12  
They know how he would feel or if I would make him feel like you know, like, I wanted to, you know, necessarily break from him. I just wanted to be by myself.

Mikita Speaker  19:20  
So it was amazing. He was very supportive. And he's always been like so supportive, like this man is

Mikita  Speaker  19:30  
amazing. That's one way to say it is he is amazingly wonderful. And so, so supportive. For all of my dreams, all my crazy ideas. He's just like, go for it.

Mikita  Speaker  19:43  
So in this instance, you know, I let them know like, Hey, I just want to take a weekend and he was like I do it.

Mikita  Speaker  19:52  
And when it was time to do it as excited as I was I was actually feeling guilty about it. You know?

Mikita  Speaker  20:00  
And then I was like, What am I gonna do by my like, oh my gosh, oh, we actually by myself. And as I was driving away like this, the excitement came back to me though. So if if a weekend retreat is something that you're interested in, please check out my blog, where I talk about, it's on, like I said, wanting

Mikita  Speaker  20:20  
It has some great tips and some tools and resources that I think you will love. But sometimes you can't do a full mini retreat, you know, we have other responsibilities. Some people have younger kids than I do. And you just in financially, you know, that's money. And right now money's tight, you know, get a penny, you better save that thing. So you may not be able to do that. And hey, that's okay. Because your girl is saving her pennies too. So maybe you can take a day trip, go somewhere by yourself for the day, walk around and just breathe.

Mikita Speaker  20:58  
You know, find a babysitter for the day or just get out for one day by yourself. No one just you just enjoy by yourself. You will truck trust me, you will enjoy.

Mikita  Speaker  21:12  
So those are one of the things. And I go into a little bit more detail about some of the other things that you can do to create, you know, a couple of hours of you know, retreat time.

Mikita Speaker  21:25  
You know, so check it out.

Mikita Speaker  21:29  
All right, you guys, this has been such an amazing conversation. I hope that I said something that really impacted you that really gave you something to think about how you want to proceed, how you want to take, you know, take time for you.

Mikita  Speaker  21:48  

Mikita  Speaker  21:50  
I want you to recognize also that when you come in back from your break may seem a little overwhelming. Don't Don't be

Mikita  Speaker  22:00  
a little like they can something wrong with you. If it's like okay, break is over and you start to feel a little angels like oh my gosh, it's okay. It's natural. You've you've stepped out of that zone. And now you're stepping back into it. And if it's been a while, of course, you may have a little anxiety. But trust that trust the process of it. Get back in there, start doing what you love.

Mikita  Speaker  22:24  
And just let it flow.

Mikita Speaker  22:26  
Let things just flow naturally for you. You don't have to control every situation. It's impossible anyway. You just can't control everything.
Mikita  Speaker  22:36  
So enjoy the process. Enjoy the moments, the things that you learn about your incredible self.

Mikita Speaker  22:46  
Break time may be over. But the experience of creating

Mikita Speaker  22:52  
new things and enjoying life is never over. So always make time to enjoy life.

Mikita Speaker  22:59  
Alright, you guys, that is all the tea that I have to spill today. But don't forget to join me each and every Tuesday as we spill more delicious hot tea. Until next time namaste