Thyme 4 Tea with Mikita

Rediscovering Feminine Energy with Amanda Rolph

September 20, 2022 Mikita S Smith Season 2 Episode 53
Thyme 4 Tea with Mikita
Rediscovering Feminine Energy with Amanda Rolph
Show Notes Transcript

In today's episode of Time for Tea with Mikita, Amanda Ross of Intuitive Wisdom shares her expertise on feminine energy, explaining what it is, how to connect with it, and why it's important.

"I think one thing that I wish people understood and that I'm learning to understand is I think perhaps the concept of feminine energy is misunderstood by a lot of people."

Amanda Rolph is a mum of two, healer, and intuitive who helps others connect with their feminine energy.

This is Amanda Rolph's story...

Amanda Rolph is a podcaster who talks about the importance of feminine energy. She discusses how it is often misunderstood and how it is important to find a balance between masculine and feminine energy. She shares her own journey of finding her feminine energy and how it has helped her to heal after some difficult life experiences.

In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What is feminine energy, and how can we embrace it more fully?
2. How can we release ourselves from the expectations and limitations of traditional gender roles?
3. How can we find balance and harmony between masculine and feminine energy within ourselves?

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Chapter Summaries:
Time for Tea With Mikita is a podcast about Redefining self-care. It's about looking at every aspect of our life, from music, career, family, relationships, and everything in between. Makita and her co-hosts are not afraid to have conversations that are sometimes hard to have.

Amanda, Ross, and Mikita are meeting for tea today. Makita is grateful for Amanda's time and energy. She couldn't find her teacup, but she left it downstairs. Amanda is talking about the importance of feminine energy and intuitive wisdom today.

Amanda is a healer and an intuitive. She is approachable and friendly. She likes to connect with people and have real conversations. Mikita finds Amanda's energy real and down to earth. Amanda is one of the nicest people she's talked to.

After the difficult birth of her baby, she developed posttraumatic stress disorder. Reiki helped her to calm down and calm her mind. Before she became a mother, she was very independent and didn't need help from anyone. Now, as a new mum, she needed practical and emotional help.

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Time for tea with Mikita is a podcast about redefining self-care. It's about looking at every aspect of our life, from music, career, family, relationships, and everything in between. It's about spilling tea on those conversations that are sometimes hard to have. Well, we're not afraid to have those conversations right here. Join me as we spill tea on every conversation you ever thought about, dreamed about, or whispered about.

Hey, y'all. It's definitely time for some tea.

Hello, my friends, and welcome to the time for tea with Mikita. I want to thank you for sharing your time, your space, and your energy with me today. Today we are spilling some hot tea on the beauty and the importance of feminine energy with Amanda Ross of intuitive wisdom is something that I've been embracing more and more and trying to find that balance that is energizing as well as healing. So thank you, Amanda, for sharing your time with me and my audience. Thank you so much for having me.

I have my tea here ready, and I'm looking forward to connecting. Yes, you always have to have a little tea. I couldn't find my tea cup. I think I left it downstairs, and it's okay.

So before we get really into the feminine energy, can you just tell us three words that you would use to describe who you are? That's a good one. So I'm down to earth mum of two. I am a healer and an intuitive, and it's hard to not use many words.

I feel like I'm approachable and friendly, and I just really like to connect with people and have real conversations. Yeah, you have this infectious energy, though. Like, you can just feel it. I know you all can't see us, but Amanda's energy is just real, and you really are down to earth and just one of the nicest people I've talked to. Oh, thank you so much.

That's so kind, mikita. Thank you. You're welcome. I've heard the word feminine energy a lot over the past few years. But when you hear people say feminine energy, what is one thing that you wish that they kind of understand about that?

I think one thing that I wish people understood and that I'm learning to understand is I think perhaps the concept of feminine energy is misunderstood by a lot of people. I can't remember who said the quote, but there's a facebook page called girl God books, and I'm sure it was somebody there that said, because we're so not used to living in our feminine energy, that actually do we really know what that means anymore? Like, we've been almost severed from it, so it's kind of relearning. And I think there's perhaps a lot of false concepts around it in there as well. So trying to pick out what is the true feminine energy can be quite tricky.

I really agree. I can't remember exactly when I heard the phrase feminine energy, like, on a social media site. But I do remember that it made me feel like I was missing something in my own journey, and I wasn't always aware of what it meant, how to use it. And I felt like I had been moving in this flow of masculine energy for so long that the idea of feminine energy was just like, what do you mean I'm not being feminine? I need to be more womanly.

Like, what in the world are you trying to tell me? So it really took a lot for me to just be like, I need to start embracing the whole part of me because feminine energy and masculine energy are kind of like the ying and yang.

Yeah, well, I can really relate to that, not knowing what it meant. And that's kind of my story is for some context before, about seven years ago, when I became a mum, up until that point, I've lived probably my entire life in my masculine energy, always, like, planning ahead, busy doing. I really valued it. I thought that my self-worth was connected to my productivity, as it were. And when I had my baby, I had a really complicated labor and I was really poorly.

So physically, I was very unwell. And that led to a period of being mentally, then really unwell. So as I was trying to heal myself, I turned to reiki and alternative therapies because mainstream medicine wasn't really providing me with the answers I needed. And it must have been after my second or third treatment. Kim the lady said to me, oh, you should really try and connect more with your feminine energy.

And I just remember thinking, what on earth does that mean? I was too polite to ask her what it meant, so I just sat there and nodded quietly whilst having no idea what that even meant. Yeah, I couldn't imagine. I've been there so many times. Like, people say things and I'm like, what are you trying to tell me?

And later on, I'm like, having a discussion or googling it, trying to like, they said, I need to do this. I don't even know what that means or how I even tap into what it means to have feminine energy. But you said that you were on that journey of basically healing after all of that, and sometimes traditional methods don't work and you turn to use reiki. What was that experience like? Well, that was amazing for me.

And it's funny how these things happened. I'm not sure I really believe in coincidences, but I'd had my baby and it was a really difficult birth, and I was so poorly afterward that I did it was a bit touch and go whether I would make it. And so after that, I kind of couldn't sleep, I guess. I developed what you'd call posttraumatic stress disorder. I was too frightened to go to sleep at night.

I was frightened when it got dark because every time it did, I have this calm sensation that would wash over me that I was going to die. And it wasn't like a panic attack, it was just a really calm feeling in my body, which was almost more unsettling. And I tried speaking to the doctors. I even went to an E one night to the emergency department in hospital because I had such a strong feeling that I am going to die. And there was no explanation for this.

And I was trying to find a rational explanation, which again, is kind of masculine. And they kind of sent me, they said, oh, you can wait, you can see a psychologist, like a psychiatrist. But it was the weekend and there was nobody around, so I came home and all the doctors could really offer me was sleeping tablets. And I thought, well, it's just not the depth of help that I need. And on my coffee table was just a leaflet for a well-being center that had opened in our town.

And one of the treatments was Reiki, and I knew nothing about it, but I kind of ran them up and the lady on the reception was so lovely because I just garbled all down the phone at her like, I'm going to die, I need some help. And she said, oh, you should come and have some Reiki. And I thought I didn't know what it was, but I would have tried anything. And yeah, it really helped me. It really calmed me, I think grounded me.

And that night I was able to get some sleep. It wasn't a miracle cure, but it's definitely set me on the path to healing afterwards. Yeah, it's something about when people had this beautiful baby, you've just given birth and a lot of people are like, oh, motherhood, you automatically just go into this feminine portion of yourself. But a lot of times that's really not true, because you still have that masculine energy there that's saying protect. You have to do, you can't stop, you have to keep going.

And you want to switch on that, okay, I need to be more vulnerable, more nurturing, and it's just like but no, I have to keep going. And it's like people don't really get that portion of that healing part. Even though you're having a baby, you're having this transition, there are still a lot of internal things that haven't quite flipped over. Yes, most definitely. And I think for me, like, 30 years of habits die hard, and it was a difficult transition to make.

And I think before I became a mum, I lived such a life of being so hyper-independent, like, I didn't need help from anybody. I say that in inverted commerce because of course we all need help, but I thought that it was better to do things alone. And I think it stems from I didn't feel worthy of asking people for their help, actually. So that was really hard because then all of a sudden, as a new mum, I was in a place where I did need people's help and I needed practical help. I also needed emotional help and emotional support and reassurance that I was okay and I was doing a good job.

So, yeah, it was really hard. It was definitely a difficult transition for me, a powerful one. It kind of made me look at everything, all my habits, patterns, patterns of behavior, and the way I thought about things in a way that just crumbled. And I had to piece back together a more balanced version of myself which involved coming into my feminine energy much more. Yeah, I think for me, I think the common misconception people think about when they think about tapping and leaning and flowing into that feminine energy is that they're going to be weak or vulnerable, but you're not.

Like, you're just a stronger version of yourself. What was that like? Did you feel that way or did you have that thought cross your mind as you were going on that journey? Yeah, most definitely. So when Kim, my Reiki healer, told me to connect more with my feminine side, after the initial confusion passed, I started to think like, oh, maybe I should paint my nails and wear a dress.

Because at the time, that's the only thing that I could relate to being in my feminine energy was being more girly. Because I'm not particularly like it, I wouldn't say that I dressed in a particularly girly museum way. And that's the only thing I could think because I didn't understand what else she could mean. So, yeah, I definitely went down that road of thinking that perhaps it was about being softer and more gentle, and in lots of ways it is, but it also comes with a real strength, I think, and a quality of fierceness. When you think about female animals in the animal kingdom, like the lionesses, for example, they're the ones that go out and hunt.

So I think if we're sold that feminine energy is just about being soft and a bit more meat, I think we're missing a real richness and perhaps some of the key qualities of it. In fact. When I was preparing for today and I was just doing some more reading and things. Just to be sure in myself. Some of the things I was reading as I was reading.

I thought. Oh. Actually I flared my nostrils a bit because I was like. Oh. Again.

This is a bit of a distortion. I think. What the true feminine is because it's talking about this being like. Gentle and quite submissive in order they were using it in the context of order to attract a man into your life. And I thought, well, I think we've missed the point a little bit here because we can be soft and vulnerable and that's a huge part of it.

But it's also about being strong and fierce and assertive, I think, and able to set our boundaries and hold our boundaries and not feel bad for doing that. I agree. And I will tell you when it comes to I will say, I know you mentioned that you were reading about attracting a man, but in my own personal relationship, I have found that I use a lot more masculine energy. And as I was going through my own journey and figuring out how to find that balance of both, I really had to tap into that, asking for help and being able to accept that even from my partner who I knew I could trust to be there for me. But as you said, 30 years of growing up and things that you're taught, and I grew up in a single-parent home with my mother, so she always displayed a lot of masculine energy as she was the head of the household.

So it was very little feminine energy there. So I kind of just kind of picked up the traits and just went with it. And there was no time really to explore. And now I've gotten a chance to explore how that works in a relationship. And like you said, even you can take that even into your workplace, like you said, being fear, speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries, all of that.

Yeah, most definitely. And I really hear you there, actually, with a lot of what you're saying. And for me, I've almost had to practice the words, I need help, please, because it's so difficult. And when I say it, I can, like, feel these funny sensations in my throat and in my gut. So I've almost had to practice because growing up, for me, I quickly learned not to make a fuss about things.

And I kind of took care of everyone else's emotional well-being at the expense of my own. Like, I always put my needs last. And even then, when I'd had my children, I remember I'd have my second child, my daughter. And again, you feel like for me, I was being bumped down the ladder of, like, who is important? And I remember one-morning making breakfast, and even the cat comes in and starts meowing at me, and I just thought, oh, my goodness, the animals get fed in this house before I do.

So putting myself first has been a challenge, and it's still one that I work on now in our family balance and dynamic, trying to say, I need some time to do this. I need some time. For me, I'm going to sit here and drink my cup of tea. This is what I say to my children. I'm not going to get up for like five minutes or ten minutes.

I'm going to sit on the sofa. But yeah, I think when it's almost stuff that's so alien to you, we almost have to practice, like a child would practice learning to crawl and walk. Like, those skills, I think for us, we almost have to practice it in that way until it becomes more natural for us. Yeah, I definitely agree. And when you are tapping into that and leaning into that feminine energy, it does make you have this new sense of self-awareness about yourself.

Like, it's like this inner awareness that you didn't even realize that you had all of these emotions, all of these things happening when you were going through the process. After doing the Riki, did you continue throughout the doing the Riki and on your journey? Or was that like a stepping stone to just?

I still have some treatments now. And actually, I was so sort of inspired by it. I learned to teach it and do it for other people, but yeah, so it's still a part of my journey, but also it did open doors to so many other things. It took a while after Kim said to me about connecting with your feminine energy, and I walked away with my raised eyebrows, not understanding. It took a long time for me to really start to understand what that meant.

And so I did different workshops and classes. I tried things like meditation to help me sort of quiet in my mind and my body and a bit like you. When I gave myself the peace and the stillness, I was like, oh, wow. My body is almost trying to communicate all these things to me about how she's feeling or how I'm feeling, what's going on? And one of the workshops and activities I found was a women's circle that my friends ran.

And these are kind of I'm not sure if you've heard of them. But they're sort of a lot of them born out of the red tent movement or the idea is like. Women just come together in a safe space where you can share and you can share anything. But people don't try and dive in and rescue you or dismiss you. They just listen and then that's it.

Once you finish speaking, all of you and your story are welcome. So that was another big thing on my journey, was like learning to sit in a circle with other women and listen to them and be vulnerable myself. And it was a great place to find connection and emotional support as well, especially in a world, I think, where women, a lot of the default ways that we've been taught to relate to each other is through gossiping. Like talking about someone and talking about her. And we form a little bond.

I know years ago here in the UK, like, a lot of magazines were really popular that kind of like got it magazines, basically. And I think as women, that's how we sort of learned to relate to each other. So to go to circle and learn to relate to myself first and foremost, and then these other women in a much more like, genuine and compassionate, and empathetic way that's been really healing. I would encourage anyone that's listening if you have, like, a women's circle local to you to check it out because they're really powerful. Recently, I actually did a writing women's circle, and it was the first time I've done anything like that.

And like you said, it's a different way to bond with other women. And it was so healing in its own way because we were allowed to do prompts and write and they and you shared what you wrote. And I was coming from more of a creative side as I was listening to other people's stories, they were real-life experiences and I was just like, oh, my gosh, I was just making up. I didn't want to share that deep of emotion. And finally, in the third week, I actually wrote something personal.

But I think the biggest part was that, as you said, you were just able to share it and no one was there to rescue you and say what you should do, what you shouldn't do. And I found the first time it was hard because I so wanted to give somebody some encouragement, like, oh, no, you can do it, or whatever, but you don't always need that, being in those spaces and just allowing for that moment to just kind of be and just really just let it all out and you're done. You're not judged. You're not anything. It's just this is it now.

It's done. Beautiful. Last week, actually, I think I called my doctor because I've been feeling quite tired. And I have celiac disease, which is an autoimmune disease, and my eye levels are often low. And I think actually a lot of that is related to the way I grew up, in this constant doing and rushing and never resting.

Like my body almost had to say to me, Enough. Like, enough. I can't carry on like this. But I was feeling tired, so I thought perhaps I should have a blood test to check. And I was chatting to my doctor on the phone.

She was so nice. And at the end I thought, you know what? I don't even really need a blood test. I'll probably just need to take some more iron supplements. But I realized after I spoke to her that just being listened to that was all I needed at that time, just to be heard was enough.

And to talk to her, I thought that was really powerful, just the power. Being heard, is very therapeutic, more than people realize that sometimes you just need someone to listen. And I always ask people it's funny because when someone like, I want to talk to you, I need to get something off my chest or whatever if it's a friend or family member, I always ask them, do you just want to talk? Or are you wanting advice? Or do you just need to talk to me?

Because I think that's so important for me to understand where they're coming from and what they need from me in the moment. Because we don't always know what someone needs from what their needs are. So I always ask, do you need advice or you just need to talk? And that really helps. And it also puts you in a place of exploring a different level of listening to people.

Yes. And actually, now you've said that that's so powerful. I remember when I first went to Circle and I was just, like, noticing in myself that often when women would share, I would have this urge to be like, oh, that's happened to me. And it was coming from a place of kindness because I wanted to connect. But I also realized, like, actually, do you know what you need to learn too?

I thought I was good at listening, but that taught me that no, you really need to learn to listen. This is because so often I can't remember who said this, but it's so powerful. So often we listen to respond as opposed to just listening to hear the person. Yeah. And they're saying, do you just want me to listen?

Would you like some advice? That's really powerful. Again, the giving advice thing is quite masculine, isn't it? We need to find a solution, we need to fix it, we need to make everything okay. Whereas often, as you say, people don't necessarily need advice or a solution for me, they just need to talk.

And that's part of that feminine energy, being able to listen and be there with no expectations other than just to be, which is amazing.

As you were going through the journey and tapping into that and leaning into that and letting that feminine energy kind of just flow over just a few of the benefits you felt like it opened for you. Probably one of the biggest ones, and this took a long time to kind of cultivate, is to finally I've got to a place where I really trust myself and I trust my feelings about a situation or a person that I trust my intuition and I really try and go with how I feel. So like, if I feel tired, I try and take a rest rather than just keep pushing through because I think I've spent otherwise beforehand. I spent so much of my life if anything ever happened, I'd always be questioning myself, oh, well, it probably wasn't like that. You're probably overthinking it, or maybe you're just making that up.

Does that make sense? I was always doubting myself and that's exhausting. So I think one of the biggest gifts of this journey has been learning to really trust myself. And I use that like my intuition. Then in so many aspects of my life, like making decisions, like big decisions, small decisions, I've learned to kind of go with the flow more rather than if I notice, like a resistance to something, I stop and I think, well, what is that resistance about?

And sort of listening to my body and what it's trying to tell me. So yeah, that's probably my biggest takeaway. Also just being more present in my life. I recently put a post on my social media because about three years ago, as you do, I woke up one day and I was just thinking and I thought, wow, I feel like my life is passing me by and I've not really been present for any of it if that makes sense. I'm always looking ahead to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, and I just thought, wow, if you carry on like this, your whole life will pass you by and you're going to miss it all.

So for me, coming more into my feminine energy and trying to balance it, it's just about being present and often than doing more simple things like we like to go for a walk in the woods or we like to go to the beach and just being comfortable and finding joy in the more simple things. And actually, I think I'm healthier for that because I'm not constantly rushing around, so I'm just much less stressed than I used to be as well. Yeah, I found that as I flow into my feminine energy, I love to do more things in nature than I have ever done. And like you said, doing the simple things. We've been on more hikes this summer and we've explored more parks, and usually, when the summertime is about to end, I'm always like, oh my gosh, I missed it.

Like, where was I at? I was planning all of these things, but I just let it go. And I find that now that I am tapping more and leaning more into that feminine energy, not only am I just more present and aware, but I'm making more time for the small things. And like you said, that intuition, that ability to flow and trust that it's going to be okay, you can slow down. Yeah, I hear so much of what you're saying.

One of the things as well, I've noticed on my journey is that I've really come to appreciate more the seasons and nature and what's happening outside. And then I try and take that bit into my own life and take notes. So, for example, I've often heard a lot of people, especially women in the winter, saying, I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm so tired, I don't want to go to my exercise classes. And it's easy sometimes to pathologize it and think there's something wrong with you. But I thought, well, actually, if you look outside like it's winter like the earth is resting, the plants are all resting, we're resting.

So by doing that and trying to live my life in accordance with what's happening outside, I think has made me feel a lot. Everything just flows more and again, I'm less poorly, I'm less stressed because I'm often, like, in the autumn, in the winter, I'm doing things at a slower pace because nobody can keep up that fast pace all the year round. But like you say as well, we've missed so much. If we do. You do?

I do. Like the fact that you said you kind of flow with the seasons and you're right. The fall and the winter. I was just talking to a friend of mine. I was like, I always feel like around that time of the year, it's a time to plant seeds of growth.

It doesn't require you to do a whole lot, but just start planting those seeds of growth and nurturing those which we get into. The part of nurturing is definitely when we're using that feminine energy. And then by the time the spring of the year come around, you can see what you've nurtured and then just start living more and more and being in that energized. And it's okay to have some masculine energy. It's just making sure you understand that you're balancing that energy so you can keep that energy and that expectancy.

Yeah, that's so powerful. And you're right. And actually, what I noticed this is just from my experience, but where I went from being completely in my masculine it's almost been like I swung like a pendulum completely the opposite direction into the feminine, but so now I'm coming back into that place of finding balance because we do need both. And I've really enjoyed the summer and I've enjoyed the busyness. Actually, over the last few years, I've got really into gardening and we managed to get an allotment near where we live.

So we've been growing, like, vegetables and fruit and flowers. And that feels like it's been really busy. And I loved it. So now I'm kind of looking forward to things just becoming a bit quieter and we're kind of harvesting a lot of the food that we've grown and I'm looking forward to I like to cozy up with an evening because I don't know where you are, but here in the UK, I'm in Norfolk. We're just starting to get that chill of an evening and I'm needing to put a jumper on.

I like to light a canned or make a cup of tea and rest and feel cozy. It's funny you said that. It is getting a little like especially our mornings are getting over here in the United States. But my daughter asked me yesterday, she was like, we don't have any hot cocoa. And I'm like, the summer is not over yet.

But we can still have one, I'm sure. Yes.

I always ask everyone this question, but when it comes to living life unapologetically, showing up for yourself, what does that mean for you? For me, it's almost like I like to use a lot of metaphors. It's like I've gone along a path. Of my life, looking under all the stones and all the dark places where I buried all the parts of myself that either like, my family or my teachers or society told me that it's not good or you should leave, that you're a bit too loud or you're a bit too crazy or a bit much. So for me, living just unapologetically and authentically as myself has meant kind of going back and exploring who am I?

Like, what do I love? What are my passions? I remember I've got one really strong memory of when I was eleven years old and I bought these. They were horrible, but I loved them. Like orange patent high-heeled shoes.

And I love these shoes. They were a really strong statement piece, and I drew a picture of them and that felt like the most authentic thing I've done, like sitting there, being creative, drawing my terrible shoes. But I thought that's kind of who I am. For me, that creativity. And so yes.

So for me, I think it's gradually bringing back all those parts that perhaps I've lost so that I can live in my most authentic expression of who I am. I love that. I truly love that. So tell my audience where they can connect with you outside of this. Sure.

So I have a website, which is, and I'm on Facebook. Amanda Rolph intuitive wisdom. And I'm also on Instagram with the same handle. I'll be honest, I don't fully understand Instagram yet, but I'm there and I'm trying. But Facebook and my website is a good places to connect with me.

Yes, and don't worry, you guys, I will have all of that information, the show notes, so you can connect with Amanda and continue your journey to just connecting, flowing, and leaning into your own dominant energy. So, Amanda, thank you so much for just coming on and just sharing all of that knowledge with us. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you for your kind words at the beginning. Honestly, as someone that finds it difficult sometimes to receive, like, I've really taken that into my heart and it's really boosted me.

So thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. You're so welcome. All right, you guys, it is time for some key takeaways. And the tea was definitely hot.

So I don't know about you, but. I'm feeling more empowered about leaning into my feminine energy and embracing it. And there's something amazing about knowing that it's okay to use our feminine energy. And it doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you vulnerable. It just helps you to be even more powerful.

And just like Amanda said, there's a season for everything. We have a season for growth and planting seeds and growing and nurturing. And that's kind of like how our. Feminine and masculine energy is. So one of the things that I.

Loved is that Amanda talked about using reki therapy as a way to just tap into that feminine energy and also as a way to heal and grow. And when we talk about using our feminine energy, there's such a learning process because it's something that you have to be willing to lean into to let flow over you. But we all have this intuition, and what we don't understand sometimes is that our feminine energy kind of guides that intuition. So as we grow and lean into who we are and we start embracing all aspects of ourselves, we start trusting our intuition. We start listening to what our body is telling us that it needs.

And sometimes what we need is to just sit and be. I also love the fact that Amanda talked about being in sacred groups with other women and just being able to be vulnerable and being able to listen without feeling the need that we have to fix someone or provide this extra support by saying, hey, I experienced that, too. That is okay to allow a space where nothing is expected of you other than you to show up just as you are, to share your truth without being judged, without expectations. And I think that's the power of feminine energy. All right, you guys, that is all.

The time that I have to spill today. But don't forget to join me next Tuesday as we spill some more delicious hot tea. Until next time. Namaste.