Embracing Abundance and Releasing Expectations

Have you ever felt weighed down by the expectations you set for yourself or the achievements you're chasing? Join me, Mikita, on Thym 4 Tea, where we unravel the liberating art of emotional release. In a world that often equates worth with success, we take a hard look at the stories we tell ourselves and explore the freedom that comes with detaching from outcomes. Let's embark on a transformative journey together, learning to lean into gratitude and embrace life's journey with an open heart, ready to receive the universe's gifts.

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Show Notes

Every now and then, life nudges us to hit pause and breathe in the beauty of stillness, a message that resonated deeply during my own week of unexpected rest. This episode of Thym 4 Tea invites you to recognize the abundance that flourishes in moments of self-care and to honor the power of a mindset shift from scarcity to plenty. Sharing my personal leap into nursing school amidst doubts, we uncover how positive narratives can not only elevate our psychological health but also propel us towards dreams we might have thought were out of reach. So, pour yourself a soothing cup, and let's celebrate the courage to own our stories as we navigate life's unpredictable but beautiful terrain together.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Letting Go of Emotions and Expectations
• 15:57 Finding Abundance and Overcoming Doubt

Transcript

Mikita : 0:00

You have to be able to let go and shed the weight of doubt, of fear and beliefs so you can step into your next season, and in this episode, we are going to dive into this conversation, so that you can start creating a narrative that aligns with the version of you that is being prepared for your future journey.

Mikita : 0:26

Hey there, I'm Mikita, a small town girl with dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come Thym 4 Tea with Mikita. On my podcast, , we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one-stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you've found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard-to-have conversations. So grab a cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is Thym 4 Tea with Mikita, and the tea is definitely hot. Welcome back. It is definitely Time for some tea. I'm your host, Mikita. First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and your amazing energy with me today. Like Jay-Z said, you could have been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me and I am internally grateful to have you with me today. So, throughout this amazing journey of this thing that we've called life, we've all learned some valuable lessons, but not without some scrapes and bumps, some hiccups along the way, and I feel like I am in the process of learning one of the biggest lessons that I think I've ever had to learn in my entire life, and that is to not attach emotion to outcomes. I feel like we are always attaching some form of emotion to the outcomes of our life, whether we attach emotions to whether we get the A on the test, whether we get the job, the promotion. You know, there are so many things attached to our emotions and I feel like that in the season of letting go because that's the season that I feel like I'm in right now and if that's you, if you're in the season of letting go, I want you to know that you're not alone in the journey. Your steps may be different, your path is different, but I just want you to know that as you evolve, as you grow and we all know that anytime there's any type of growth, regardless of whether it's mental, physical or spiritual growth of self, you have to be able to let go and shed the weight of doubt, of fear and beliefs so you can step into your next season.

Mikita : 3:08

And in this episode we are going to dive into this conversation, so that you can start creating a narrative that aligns with the version of you that is being prepared for your future journey. So let's first kick this off with an affirmation, because you know I love a good affirmation to just really get us centered and grounded. So it says I release the past and trust that the universe has better things in store for me Now. I want us to say that together, I release the past and trust that the universe has better things in store for me Now. As I was having this conversation with people in my life and I was talking about this evolution, this next stage, this journey, I felt like I was beginning to grow into and just really look at letting go of attaching so many emotions to so many different things that I tend to hold on to. And as we talk about this conversation, as we dive deeper into this, I want you to also be mindful of the emotions that you attach to certain things in your life, because sometimes those emotions come in the form of anger, sadness, frustration, regrets, which can lead us to this realization that how we attach those emotions to our life become our perception of our reality and your value cannot be attached to your accomplishments or to mistakes.

Mikita : 4:57

Life is life. It happens. Sometimes you do something great and everyone cheers and they say good job and you get all these high fives and likes. And other times you do something just as great and wonderful and no one acknowledges it at all. And sometimes you feel like as soon as you make a mistake, everyone has something to say, but they said nothing about all the good things that you've done, but everything about the one little mistake that you made. And I feel like that's when it's important to start releasing those emotions around outcomes and not feeling like we need to be accepted by everyone. We need to start accepting that the life happens for the purpose of learning and growing. And when we recognize that nothing is gonna be smooth sailing, it's not always gonna be perfect and balanced and things are not gonna be in harmony at all points of our lives, even when we're being the best version of ourselves. But when we release that, when we start to let go, we start to feel less stuck, we start to feel more sure about who we are in our journey and we start to shift our mindset. You feel more centered, less stressed and when you're no longer living for validation, you start to live for gratitude, for the fun of living. You learn to love life as it is, not with expectations of perfection.

Mikita : 6:49

One of my favorite quotes is by Renee Brown. She says owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. And I think that it takes a lot of bravery to step into a space and be vulnerable and not really attach an outcome with it with an emotion. I mean. There is powerful in understanding the narratives we tell ourselves. And I know that throughout this journey that there are definitely gonna be moments where I'm gonna feel happy about reaching a milestone. But recognizing that, whether I reached that milestone in three months or four months or two months or a year or maybe five, doesn't make me less of Taking away that type of emotion. That's what I want to address in the season of letting go Taking away negativity and shedding that weight and that burden of expectations that we have for ourselves, because our minds are incredible at storytelling and these narratives hugely impact our lives.

Mikita : 8:09

Negative stories can trap us in cycles of doubt, fear, and that can stop us from taking risk. It can stop you from chasing your dreams and going after that thing, and you can actually trick yourselves into thinking that reaching your full potential means living life without fear, living life without having any sorrow or failure. It's easy to look at someone else's story in their life and say, oh my gosh, they had life handed to them so easy. But we don't get to see the behind the scenes. We don't get to see everyone's tears. Some people are very open and vulnerable about the steps in the past, but a lot of times, by the time you get to see someone's success, they already have pretty much made it and we're only looking at the light. We didn't follow their journey and their struggle from the beginning, sometimes to see the process and what it took. And even when they share that journey with us, sometimes we can relate because we have shared experiences that we're like, yeah, I'm sure that was tough. Or yeah, I can imagine how that was because I've been there. I know someone had been there. But a lot of times our reality and our experiences, our perception of what life is, really shapes the narrative that we tell ourselves and when we can step away from that narrative, we can start embracing that growth that comes from overcoming challenges and it can stop us from having these expectations about being free of fear.

Mikita : 9:53

The most incredible thing that I've ever done in my life required me to be afraid. I just didn't attach that I'm not going to make it emotion to it. I attached the emotion that I am terrified and afraid. But I'm going to do it. And I always say, like, what's the worst that can happen? I'm already scared. You know what else could go wrong? I mean, the worst thing that can go wrong is I make a mistake and I have to do it again. But each time I do it again, I'm going to get better and better at it until I get it the way that I'm supposed to. I'm going to get it right eventually and that's the mindset, that's the emotion that I want to have. Not a pass or fail, not a win or lose, not a. You're not good enough, but you are the best person for the job because you were chosen for the job.

Mikita : 10:50

As humans, we have this amazing tendency to remember bad experiences more than good ones. We can recall insults more than we can recall the praise, we react more strongly to negative stuff, and this bias can really keep us stuck in negative cycles, and it's just. I think the most important thing is recognizing the patterns as they start and, like I said, when we're in this new season and we're talking about the idea of what it would mean for you to let go, I want you to think about the story that you tell yourself about the thing that you want the most in this life. What story are you telling yourself that is keeping you from doing that thing? Is it you don't have enough time? Or every time you try to put one foot in front of the other, it seems like something comes back and kicks you back six or four steps. And I want you to start rephrasing. I want you to rewrite your narrative, please, how you're telling that story to yourself.

Mikita : 12:14

I've always been a person who has believed the glasses have full. Not that I had not had moments where I'm like feeling a little defeated, but I'm also not a person that's going to be defeated for long. It's just not in me to feel like I can be defeated. I feel like if I truly believe it, eventually it will come into fruitation. Most of the time it's bigger and better than I even imagined it to be. But until I can believe it for myself, then I can't bring it into fruitation.

Mikita : 12:49

So you have to change the narrative, you have to change the way you're perceiving the outcome and then attach a new emotion to it that doesn't revolve around negativity or feeling or messing up or being mistake-free. We've got to make mistakes. That's life, and sometimes life is hard. You say life be life and, trust me, it do it be, coming at you sometimes 10-4s, and you just like I can't even get back up. I'm just going to sit here for a minute because this thing hit me too hard and sometimes we have to be okay with just sitting, still and stillness.

Mikita : 13:34

And the thing about letting go is that it doesn't always require you to do anything at all. Sometimes what it requires you to do is to sit in it, to sit in stillness, to sit in silence, to just be okay with where you are. And that is a hard lesson to learn, especially if you're a person that always feels like you have to be working and doing something. But trust me, when the time comes for you to sit in stillness, no matter how many steps you take to try to get out of it. It's going to pull you back and say I need you right here for a second, I need you to sit with this, I need you to just be okay. Being a mess sometimes and that's a part of letting go too. Letting go of what people say you should be doing or where you should be at your journey may mean you just need to be right here for a second, and that is definitely okay because there is growth in the process. You're going to learn something so incredible about yourself. You're going to have such an awakening, such a connection of self that you would have never gotten any other time.

Mikita : 14:57

And if you are a person who truly likes to meditate or journal, I feel like in this season of letting go and finding that rhythm, meditation has definitely helped lead me to this point of really just connecting with myself on this level and stepping into journaling more. I do journal, probably not as much as I probably should, but as I go into this the season, I realize that I definitely need to journal more. I definitely need to put these emotions, these feelings, these thoughts out there so I can really examine them and really see where I'm recognizing patterns, at where I'm seeing these things happen so I can really start to shed stop cycles, and the experience will not always be pretty. Like I said, sometimes you're sitting in your mess and just being okay with that.

Mikita : 15:57

I had, I think, a time where I think it was like a whole week. I did nothing. I took off work and I did nothing. I just sat in my mess. I had all these ideas I had planned prior to taking some time off that I would do all these incredible things and work on all these incredible projects that I had ideas for.

Mikita : 16:19

By the time I got there, I was just tired. I was just mentally and physically just exhausted and I was still trying to do the things, but my heart wasn't in it. I had all these emotions swirling around and I just I couldn't get it to go and I was like I'm just maybe I don't need to do anything, I'm just gonna sit here. I'm just, I'm not doing anything. I put everything off and it felt good At first. It didn't, because I'm so used to doing stuff and I was just like I'm just wasting time.

Mikita : 16:52

Then I was like time is what you make it. This is a moment for me, this is time for me, and sometimes you have to make time for yourself and I know sometimes we all don't have the luxury of even being off a week or a day or two. But we can create times and moments for ourselves. No matter how small it can be, we can still create it. Whether it's five minutes, whether it's two minutes, we can create those moments. We can make those moments, but we have to commit to them and it doesn't have to be every day. We all have lives and you have to kind of figure out how you can weave in those times. But you definitely can sit with yourself and have that experience of doing breath work or meditation or journaling and make it a part of your routine.

Mikita : 17:46

Ever feel like you need a super power, boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind? Well, say hello to your new inspiration hotspot, the Tuesday Tea Newsletter. You're a weekly infusion of big thinking energy that will propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea Newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level. There was actually a study done by Northwestern University and it showed that people who are able to construct coherent narratives about personal change were more likely to exhibit positive psychological help. And I found that very interesting to see that when you change your perception of life, in those experience, how huge of a role it can play in how you view life and the things that happen. And I think that's why it's so important that we don't let mental hurdles like lack of knowledge, fear, self-doubt and beliefs stop us from reaching our fullest potential. When we can identify the barriers, we can start to break them down an inch closer and closer to where we wanna be. When our mindset starts to shift from one of dependence from one of just lack, we can start thinking about abundance we can get.

Mikita : 19:28

It's easy to get stuck in the scarcity mindset. It's a lot harder to always think what abundance, but then that's where gratitude comes from. And if you can shed that, those thoughts, and let go of the idea of scarcity and I had to too. And when I talk about letting go, I'm talking about letting go all of that, letting go this notion that maybe one day I won't have enough, or what about this Like and always think of I'm always gonna have enough, matter of fact, I'm gonna always. Things are always gonna come to me. Things come to me naturally easily, and this is what I am telling myself. So I can change my mindset and shift it to that abundance mindset. So I can start shifting and letting go of scarcity, of fear in the way that it holds me back, or of this mindset of perfection. So it's work. It's a work in progress, but I feel empowered each and every time that I tell myself that you're always gonna have more than enough. No, regardless, it's always abundance. So I challenge you to do that too. I challenge you to start thinking in a mindset of abundance, of having more, and to shift your mindset from that obscuracity and not having enough and shift it from this self-doubt, this fear, and accept it, accept the fear, accept the doubt and then just say you just don't own me. So, as we explore how negative narratives can limit our potential and keep us from achieving you know goals, I want you to remember that you can do things that may be challenging and you can change how you view them. You can even change the words. So as you change your narrative, the words that you use are also different.

Mikita : 21:38

I remember when I first thought about going to nursing school, I had this conversation with a coworker I mentioned to them. I was like you know, I'm really interested in going to nursing school and for those who know, I always talk about, you know, moonlighting as a nurse, because that's my main job, that pays the bills. But I talked to a coworker about this and they started to share their experience with me about how they had started nursing school but never did finish because it was just impossible to go to school and work. And they were like you will never be able to do that because it's just impossible to work and go to school. So I was like, wow, well, I can't do that because I can't afford not to work. I have two kids, I have to work. So I kind of put that on the back burner and a few years went by and I was like you know what, let me look into this nursing thing again. I think I can do it.

Mikita : 22:39

I did some research on my own. I called the school I got with my human resources, I read some policies and you know, I saw that they had things in place to help you know, help me go to school. And I was like I'm just going to do it. And when I made up in my mind that not only was I going to do it, I was going to be successful at it. I think about it now, how I shed doubt. Then, like I shed that doubt, I shed, you know, the sphere of what happens if I fail, or if I fail the class, if I don't make it.

Mikita : 23:08

And, honestly, everything that could have happened while I was in nursing school happened my car messed up, like everything happened. So it was like, okay, all these things that I dreamed could happen, they happened and I survived it. Things kept going. I didn't lose my job, I was able to work. Yeah, it was sometimes where I was, you know, like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? But even in those moments, I still had the mindset of abundance that I could make it, that, even though my car had messed up, there was going to be another way, and there was. There was another way because I truly believed it was going to be a way.

Mikita : 23:52

You know, I truly believe in the manifestation of the things that you want and I feel like I kind of manifested those things into reality by believing in them so much and I truly am a firm believer that what God has for me, no one or nothing can change that. But and the same at the same time, I also believe that sometimes, when we take our dreams to others that don't understand the mission that we're on, that they can talk us out of our journey. They can put their you know experiences, their perceptions, their beliefs and negativity onto it and, in the process, change our thoughts. And that's what happened the first time when they told me it couldn't be done, it was impossible. They were able to change my perception and I allowed that to happen. And then after some time, I was like I don't truly believe that that's not my belief, my experience or my perception. So I'm going to go for it and I did. I'm glad that I did, I'm glad that it was in my heart to do it, because it truly changed my life.

Mikita : 25:11

So I just think sometimes that when I hear people say that they're going to move in silent until they're ready to tell people what's happening, I definitely get it, because sometimes you don't want everybody to know what's happening in your life until you have formed that, that energy around what it is that you're doing and that you believe so firmly in it and no one can change your mind about it. Because sometimes if we're not quite sure, if we were coming from people for advice or insight and they don't understand or can't see our potential, it can make us question our journey and where we're supposed to be at. So make sure sometimes that you get clear on your next steps within yourself. Sometimes you have to go within, first trusting and then, if we're ready and when we're ready, we can share it with the other people in our life and be okay with everyone not understanding where you're meant to be. But once you have that foundation, once you have that sense of knowing no one's gonna be able to distract you from it or take you from it because you know your journey.

Mikita : 26:34

And I think there was another study according to, I think, the American yeah, the American Psychological Association. They said around 85% of what we worry about never happens. So we worry a lot about outcomes and things that can happen and this could happen, that could happen and, honestly, half the time none of it happens, or at least not the way we think it's gonna happen or perceive that it will happen. So negative narratives they come in different forms and it's up to you to make sure you're surrounding yourself and a positivity that feeds you and not takes from you.

Mikita : 27:21

So, as we leave this conversation today, I want you to really think about what are some things you wanna let go as you jump into this new season, this new chapter in your life, and you start to grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. What are some things you want to let go? What are some thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you, that you need to shed so you can step into this next chapter, this future of abundance that is waiting for you? So take some time and write it down. Change your narrative, change the story, rewrite it. Remember, you are the hero of your own story. No one else. Your voice has power. Own it, share it.

Mikita : 28:07

All right, and if you want to share your story with me, definitely do so. I would love to hear how you are letting go of different things in your life. You can email me at thyme4teamikita@gmail. com . You can also find me on my social media and at mikitasmith_. I would love to hear your experiences and to continue to rewrite the story together. I will definitely be your cheerleader throughout this journey, and I am looking forward to sharing my journey and how it's evolving, and my growth, with you as well. So this conversation is just the beginning of many, as we all go through this thing called life. So that is all the tea that I have to spill today, but you can join me each and every Tuesday for more delicious hot tea. And if this really resonated with you, don't forget to share it with someone else who needs to hear the message. Until next time, my friend Namaste.