Embracing Vulnerability: My Journey to Wholehearted Living

Can embracing vulnerability truly transform your life? Join me, Mikita, as I share my personal journey of living wholeheartedly, filled with moments of openness, authenticity, and sometimes, raw discomfort. Through my experiences, both triumphant and challenging, I unpack common misconceptions about wholehearted living and offer practical advice on navigating the discomfort of vulnerability. Learn why taking a step back to reset and recharge is essential, and discover the profound impact of letting go of the invisible chains that hold us back.

In this episode, let’s explore together why wholehearted living isn’t just about being perpetually joyful but about fully experiencing the spectrum of human emotions. I challenge the myth that we must face life’s journey alone and highlight the immense value that comes from building meaningful connections and seeking community support. By leaning into discomfort and allowing ourselves to be seen, we gain the courage to embrace life’s complexities with authenticity and purpose. Join me on this path to live more fearlessly and wholeheartedly, one step at a time.

What To Read
Kristina Neff: Self Compassion The Proven Power Of Being Kind to Yourself

Brene Brown: Daring Greatly

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Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Living Wholeheartedly
• 10:32 Exploring Wholehearted Living Together

Transcript

Mikita: 0:00

So living wholeheartedly is about embracing life with openness, vulnerability and a deep sense of authenticity. It's about showing up fully in every moment, being true to ourselves and engaging with the world from a place of love and courage. But, like many things, there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to live wholeheartedly. So let's dive into a few of those. First, because we all have our doubts, right. We're like okay, I want to be my true self, I want to show up, I want to live from a place of wholeheartedness, but you're talking about vulnerability and I don't like all of that. I don't want to put myself out there. Hey, there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with big dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come true.

Mikita: 0:54

On my podcast, time for Tea with Makita, we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one-stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard to have conversations. So grab your cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is time for Tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot. Ever feel like you need a superpower, boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind? Well, say hello to your new inspiration hotspot the Tuesday Tea Newsletter, your weekly infusion of big thinking energy that will propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level.

Mikita: 1:56

Welcome back, it is time for tea and I'm your host, makita. I know it's been a minute and I've missed all of you so much. I am thrilled to be back with part two of the Letting Go series for more soul-soothing conversations and tea-sipping wisdom. If you're new or you've been with me for a while on this journey, thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and your amazing energy with me today. All right, you guys? So let's catch up. All right, because, if you haven't noticed that, I've been taking quite a bit of a break, and I'm very happy because life has been a whirlwind. It's been filled with highs and lows for all of us and everything in between. Now, during this time, I've been doing a lot of reflecting, a lot of resetting and recharging and reimagining what this space means for all of us.

Mikita: 2:50

Now, today, I want to share a bit about what's been going on and why I decided to take a step back. As some of you know, I've been on a personal journey. I've had some loss and I am rediscovering myself and finding calm in this storm of life and redefining what it means to live a beautifully unbalanced life wholeheartedly. Now. This break has been crucial for me to practice what I preach, to slow down, to breathe and truly find my center, and I encourage each and every one of you to do this too. At times in your life when you feel like things are feeling a little chaotic and you just need a breather, remember it's always okay to give yourself permission to hit that pause button and reset and recharge in whatever way feels right for you whatever way feels right for you. Now we're going to circle back around to that and dive a little deeper into that when we get started on today's conversation, but first I have some exciting updates for you. So, moving forward, time for Tea with Makeda will be releasing new episodes every other week versus weekly Now. This is a big change, but it's all about maintaining quality and balance. Now, I don't truly believe in this idea of perfect balance, but I do believe that we all have a sweet, unbalanced life that works best for us, and I truly want each episode to be a little gem of inspiration, filled with insights and stories that truly resonate with you and inspire you and help you take it to the next level. Now, this schedule of releasing episodes every other week will allow me to dive deeper into these topics and ensure that I'm bringing you the best content possible.

Mikita: 4:43

Now let's dive into today's episode. Okay, because this is what I'm talking about. We're talking about living wholeheartedly. What does it mean versus what we think it means, and how we can truly lean into this way of living.

Mikita: 4:58

Now, if you don't know, when I started this year out, my power word was letting go, because I feel like sometimes we have these invisible chains and every time, sometimes we go to take a step forward, we have these little things in our mind. That's like telling us, little things that hold us back right. We all have them, these self-conscious thoughts. We can call them gremlins, we can call them all sorts of things, but whatever works for you, but these are things that every time, we feel like we are making a move forward, they stop us. And when I was coming up with my power word, I was like you know what I'm tired of letting negativity or thoughts that are not even mine move into a space where I'm like, okay, I accept the fear, but I'm going to do it anyway. And there are moments in our life that we do accept fear. We're like you know what I'm nervous, I'm scared, but whatever, I'm going all in.

Mikita: 6:18

But we want to sometimes have that longevity right. We want to live fearless the whole time and for me that means living wholeheartedly, being open. So I want to dive into that idea of living a wholehearted life and I want you to think about, as you're listening to this episode, what would that look like for you? How would it feel to think about, as you're listening to this episode, what would that look like for you? How would it feel and what would you need to do to fully embrace a life of living wholeheartedly, of letting go and being open to the possibility? So living wholeheartedly is about embracing life with openness, vulnerability and a deep sense of authenticity. It's about showing up fully in every moment, being true to ourselves and engaging with the world from a place of love and courage.

Mikita: 7:17

But, like many things, there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to live wholeheartedly. So let's dive into a few of those first, because we all have our doubts right. We're like, okay, I want to be my true self, I want to show up, I want to live from a place of wholeheartedness, but you're talking about vulnerability and I don't like all of that. I don't want to put myself out there. No one truly wants to put themselves out there. But in order for us to be open, in order for us to have connections, we have to put ourselves out there. It's part of life and we are hardwired for connection.

Mikita: 7:58

So one of the myths and misconceptions that I've learned while on this break is that living wholeheartedly is not about being perfect. A lot of people believe that you have to have all your shit figured out Like. You have to have it together. You have to present this perfect outside appearance of being the perfect person that can do it all and not have flaws, and it has to look really good and you have to show up and you have to do all these things. But the truth is no one is perfect. We're all flawed. No one has it all together. If you ever peek behind the curtain, you will see just like in the Wizard of Oz there's always someone else right. Everything's great, as long as you don't look behind. Don't look behind the curtain, because once you do, once you see everything that's wrong with me. We think people are going to run the other way. They're going to be like this is messy, nevermind. I thought you were perfect, let me go somewhere else. But it's not about being perfect. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Mikita: 9:06

Living wholeheartedly is about embracing our imperfections and showing up as we are flaws and all. One of the things that draws me to people when I meet them is when they show up and they're like dropping F-bombs, being themselves and just saying you know what? My life's a mess, I don't have it all together, but guess what? I'm here. Those people are the people that are my people, because I know what it means and what it feels like to not have it all together and be okay. You know, sometimes we think that we take on the persona that people are expecting us to have all the answers, but the truth is we want to have all the answers. But the truth is we want to have all the answers and we want to appear that way. So we're putting on that mantle, that cape. People just want us to show up and just listen and be there. They don't want us to have it all figured out. They're still trying to figure it out. They're not looking for perfection, but we have this idea of what we're supposed to be and who we're supposed to be and who we're supposed to be. So we're always trying to show up as that person instead of just saying this is me, this is it and I'm okay with it. So, as you move into this next phase of your life, try to show up as you, let other people see that you don't necessarily have it all together, and when you do that, you will realize that there's so many people in your corner that are ready and waiting to be there for you.

Mikita: 10:32

Now, another misconception that I had to come to terms with is wholehearted living is always joyful, I know, like always joyful, really, keita. Wow, you know, wholehearted living does bring a deep sense of fulfillment and joy. It means experiencing the full range of emotions, so it's about being open to both the highs and the lows and finding beauty in it all. So, yes, there is always joy, because when we embrace that there's going to be good, that there's going to be bad, but we can find the joy of showing up if we can just open ourselves up to all the emotions that come with being human being, a person.

Mikita: 11:16

A lot of the times we only recognize three emotions and those are mad, sad and happy. Outside of that, a lot of us don't even want to dig into the rest of the emotions the anxiety, the stress, the heartache, the fear. We just want to blow those things away and we only focus on those three. But how can we communicate fully with all the things that we're feeling if we don't recognize all the other emotions that go along with it? There's such joy in feeling a sense of fulfillment, of contentment, that I never once recognized until I was in that emotion. We were on a vacation and I just felt, my heart felt full, I felt content, I felt so happy in this moment. And she would just recognize like I use so many different words to use to say joy, happiness, because I felt all of those things. And a lot of times we feel more than one emotion at one time. We can feel embarrassment, we can feel resentment, like. All of those are emotions, but yet we only truly recognize the three. So there is joy in understanding everything that we feel, because in that way we can communicate how we're feeling to the people that need to know it the most.

Mikita: 12:39

All right, the next misconception is you have to do it alone. No one does anything alone. I don't care what they say. You cannot be in this space, in this place, in this world alone. It is a lonely, dark place that no one wants to be in alone. It's not a solo journey.

Mikita: 13:03

Like I said before, we are hardwired for connection, so this involves building real, meaningful connections, seeking support and growing alongside others. It's about building community and having shared experiences. We connect in so many different ways, but we have to recognize that you need someone in your corner, you need someone there to be with you on the journey, and that's why I love what I do, because you guys are with me on the journey. We're doing this thing together. There is such a sense of community and there's so many shared experiences, where there's so many moments where you're like, oh my gosh, I know what you mean. I may not have had that same experience, but I recognize the emotion that goes into feeling that way, and that's part of having a shared experience with someone.

Mikita: 14:03

We don't always have to go through the same thing, but we know what it feels like to be rejected. We know what it feels like to feel loved, to find that one person that means everything to us. We know what it feels like to feel alone, to be alone, and we know what it feels like having a community and people in our corner. So that's what I mean when I say you don't have to do it alone. It's not about being alone. Living wholeheartedly is about experiencing everything and having the courage to do it, and not saying this is too much. I'm afraid I'm going to go back here because I don't want to feel it. We're going to feel it, we're going to lean into it, we're going to let ourselves be pulled and stretched into our purpose and what it means to live wholeheartedly, to live with our heart, to lead with the strength of knowing who we are and what we're built for, because you're built for so much more. So, as I said earlier, we have to lean into living wholeheartedly. But what would that even look like for you? What would that even mean for you? And it may look different for each of us right, because we're all different, we all have different experiences, we all have different backgrounds. So we're talking about leaning into.

Mikita: 15:29

The discomfort of just sitting in the moment and reflecting on these emotions is what I mean, because the one thing I learned is recognizing these emotions. Understanding them is one thing, but if I reflect and really give thought to okay, why do I feel this way? Are these truly my thoughts or is this a story? I'm telling myself what's really happening in this moment. And it doesn't also mean that you have to have an answer right away. You're not. You know, you don't have to figure it out right now. It's about saying, okay, I don't have the answer right now, or this is really uncomfortable. I think I'm going to take a rest and I'll come back to this. I'm not going to forget it, but my mind needs to rest so I can really have some time to reexamine what's really happening, what's going on, and that's leaning into it, just recognizing that something's happening and then reflecting on it and then coming to terms with it. So here are some tips for you as you lean into what that would mean for you.

Mikita: 16:42

The first thing is to embrace the vulnerability. It's going to be scary, it's going to be messy, it's going to feel really heavy at times, but it's the key to living wholeheartedly. So allow yourself to be seen, to share your true feelings, and don't be afraid to ask for help. As I was reading Darren Gritley, one of the quotes said vulnerability is not winning or losing, it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. And I think that's the scariest thing ever is not having control of the outcome. I like to control everything. I like to know what's going to happen.

Mikita: 17:24

So when I'm sitting in a situation and I'm like, oh my gosh, am I going to be rejected here? Is this a safe space for me? I don't know, but I'm going to go in here and I'm just going to show up as me, and it feels like, you know, this isn't my space, then that's okay. I went in, I gave it my all, I showed up and I will find my space. I will find my place, I will find my group of people, my tribe, where I'm supposed to be at. But if I never show up, I never know. And the same for you If you never show up, you'll never know.

Mikita: 18:02

All right, the next thing you can do is to practice self-compassion. So treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend, to your kids, to all the people that you love. So acknowledge your struggles and mistakes without judgment. And I know this is hard, because sometimes we may not say out loud our thoughts, but in our head we're saying some crazy stuff and we say stuff to ourselves that we would never say to the people that we care about. Say out loud our thoughts, but in our head we're seeing some crazy stuff and we say stuff to ourselves that we would never say to the people that we care about.

Mikita: 18:35

There's an author, christina Niff. She is a pioneer in self-compassion research and she really emphasizes that self-compassion involves self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. And I don't think I can stress that more Like self-kindness, being kind to yourself, having common humanity for yourself and mindfulness. Because if you don't have this stuff for yourself, how do you have this stuff for other people? How are you pouring back into yourself if you are too busy pouring all of this stuff into someone else? So it's about recognizing that we are all imperfect and that's okay. But we're going to love on ourselves a little bit more. We're going to be kind to ourselves. We're going to spoil ourselves, and we're going to be okay with that, because we all need to be spoiled and pampered sometimes. Now, in Kristin Neff's book Self-Compassion, she says that the proven power of being kind to yourself is a great resource for learning how to cultivate self-compassion in your daily life, and I truly agree.

Mikita: 19:48

All right, our next tip and how to lean wholeheartedly into what it means to live and show up as ourselves is cultivate gratitude, and I know you're like man if someone says gratitude one more time, but I'm serious, though. Gratitude really shifts our focus from what's lacking to what's abundant in our lives. If you just go outside every day and just sit in nature, think about all the things you're thankful for and they don't have to be you know huge moments. It's about appreciating the small moments and recognizing the good, even in difficult times, and I know that sometimes life gets really hard. We lose people that we love, and it's hard to think about how we can show up and be grateful when we're dealing with such loss, such heaviness, such burdens in life. But when you think about the little things and I'm a huge believer in the glasses half full and I'm always saying you know like things could be worse. Everything could be worse and I know sometimes when we're in it it is the worst thing that could happen. But just recognizing that, that's how you feel in that moment, is okay. That's self-compassion, that's how we love on ourselves, is recognizing it and saying, at this moment this is the worst thing that could happen and I am having a hard time dealing with it. And then it's that next component to say I don't have to do it alone, I can get help, whether that's talking to a friend, whether that's getting professional help, whether that's journaling, it's whatever feels right for you and that helps you move through.

Mikita: 21:45

So I love journaling. I think it's a great way to reflect. It's a great way to practice gratitude. You can start slow with just writing down three things each day that you're grateful for. It could be small things. I got up today, I went outside today, I got in touch with an old friend and had a great conversation today, I got my favorite coffee, I got to work on time today Anything that makes you grateful and that shows you how far you've come in your journey. That's what it's about.

Mikita: 22:26

If you do these small little things each day, embrace the vulnerability, practice the self-compassion, cultivate the gratitude. You will watch how it transforms your perspective on life and then you will redefine what it means to live wholeheartedly for yourself, because I feel like we all have our own definition of what that means, but we can't do it without acknowledging our feelings, our fears, our emotions, our needs, our love. So you should check out Robert Emmons' book called Thanks how Practicing Gratitude Can Make you Happier. It has some amazing insights on the science behind gratitude and practical ways to incorporate this into your life. I just want you to remember living wholeheartedly is a journey. It's not a destination. I am still on this journey. I'm still learning and I feel like each decade that I go through in life I learn a little bit more. You know, as I lean deeper into my purpose, as I explore all the possibilities, I understand it's about making conscious choice each and every day to show up fully, to embrace everything about who I am, to have self-compassion, to show up to be me.

Mikita: 24:01

All right, you guys, we're going to wrap this amazing episode up, okay, but I want to leave you with a quote by Reneene Brown. She says wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. All right, you guys, that is all the tea that I have to spill today, but I just want to thank you so much for being here with me on this amazing journey. Now, don't forget to leave a review. Find me on social at makitasmith underscore. Let me know what you think. You can also email me there's a link below and let's chat. Let's start living life wholeheartedly together. Until next time, my friends namaste.