Thym 4 Tea with Mikita
Welcome to 'Thym 4 Tea with Mikita,' where we spill the tea on all things self-care and living boldly. This podcast is your invitation to cozy up and dive deep into conversations that get real about mindfulness, wellness, and finding joy in the beautifully messy journey of life. We're here to chat about the big stuff, the little stuff, and everything in between, with a focus on embracing our true selves and stepping into our power. So grab your cup of tea, get comfy, and discover what it means to live unapologetically.
#SelfCare #Motivation #WellnessJourney #BeautifullyUnbalanced
www.beautifully-unbalanced.com
Thym 4 Tea with Mikita
Breaking Cycles & Finding Strength with Samantha
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Samantha, a life coach and mom, who shares her story of resilience as she overcame trauma and broke free from generational cycles of abuse. Together, we dive into the "messy middle" of personal transformation, discussing the challenges and rewards of self-discovery, setting boundaries, and finding peace.
Show Notes:
- Samantha’s journey: overcoming trauma, breaking generational patterns, and setting boundaries
- The "messy middle": navigating transformation with resilience and self-awareness
- Embracing self-discovery in your thirties and moving past the uncertainties of the twenties
- The role of therapy and self-reflection in understanding emotions and building resilience
- Balancing the demands of being a primary parent while prioritizing self-worth
- Tips on integrating wellness practices: exercise, meditation, and nutrition
- Vision boards and the power of small steps toward personal growth
- Modeling wellness for future generations and fostering a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle
#selfdevelopment #Wellness
#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
I needed to kind of separate myself from the crazy chaotic life that I was living and educate myself more so that I could have a peaceful one. And I think that my spiritual awakening really kind of started with me realizing that I was directing my son in similar ways, that I was raised, and being able to acknowledge that and like waking up one day and saying I made a couple of mistakes here. But one thing I do know is I'm not going to let history repeat itself.
Speaker 2:Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with big dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come true. On my podcast, time for Tea with Makita, we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one-stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard to have conversations. So grab your cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is time for Tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot. Ever feel like you need a superpower boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind? Well, say hello to your new inspiration hotspot the Tuesday Tea Newsletter, your weekly infusion of big thinking energy that'll propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea Newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level. Welcome back. It is definitely time for some tea. I am Makita. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and, of course, your amazing energy with me today. I am super excited, you guys, as I always am, when I have an amazing guest.
Speaker 2:In today's episode, I am going to introduce Samantha. She is a life coach, personal trainer, whose journey through personal traumas has led her to profound life transformation. And as someone who has embraced their own spiritual awakening, I understand that Samantha's story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and resilience. In her words, transformation is not just about changing your life. It's about changing your narrative about life. So join me as I welcome Samantha to the podcast, am really excited about not just you sharing your journey, but sharing tips and just having this real raw conversation, because sometimes we don't talk about the journey itself. You know, we see people before they, you know, get on their journey, but we never see the messy middle. We then we see the transformation and we're like, oh, they're so lucky.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. So that's why I was so excited to actually come on the podcast with you and have this conversation, because when you first contacted me, we had like our consultation. Um, that was something huge that stuck out to me and why I kind of wanted to work with you. Because the most important part for me is people seeing the middle of the start of that transformation to the end. Because, like you said, people think that you know they see you one day and you're a certain way, and then they see you a year later and you're like this, like amazing person.
Speaker 1:You're so transformed and people think to themselves I would never be able to do that, or how did she do that? Or, and they don't understand like the work that went into the in-between and how many days that I have to pick myself off at the floor and I wipe my own tears and ask God for help and strength to carry on and just it's a struggle and you know I tell people all the time you know that you can do this, you're so strong, but it's like really taking a look at myself at the end of the day and really doing the same thing for myself, but people don't see that, so they're not with you every day. They're not with you day and night, so they don't understand the amount of work that actually goes into the transformation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think sometimes when people hear the word strong, they think that means they have to endure everything and everything's always gonna be tough. And they don't see that strong doesn't necessarily mean you have to self-sacrifice.
Speaker 1:You know there's a lot of resilience in being strong and I think too, like we had talked about, is one of those things is trauma.
Speaker 1:So right, like I do that, like I'm constantly self-sacrificing and I'm constantly, I will and definitely like in the beginning, I'm willing to cross my own boundaries to appease other people, because that's a trauma response. That's something that, like I'm just now learning as an adult is to set boundaries, to hold them, to keep them, because I'm worth it and because I have to set standards for myself in order to maintain this transformational journey that I put myself on. And I wouldn't be able to continue on with that if I didn't set boundaries. I would fall right back into the same patterns, I would fall right back into the same habits and I would continue to allow people to treat me ways that I don't deserve to be treated. So it's huge. You have to understand that you're worth so much more than that and that sacrificing yourself will never help you to continue on a transformational journey. You'll fall right back into the same patterns and the same habits, and people won't understand how they're supposed to treat you.
Speaker 2:I'm glad that you brung up the trauma. So let's take people back to a little bit the beginning of your journey. Let's share a little background story so they know a little bit about your journey and your own awakening and transformation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I try to keep it super brief, but I so I was raised in a very, very rough environment. I filled with a lot of abuse that trickled down from generation. So like I don't and I think part of the transformation is forgiveness and like understanding. So I don't put blame on any one person or any situation. It really just kind of is what it is. But my family, from generations, comes from a long line of abuse and that unfortunately took place for me and my siblings and we carried that with us throughout our childhood, our adolescence and into adulthood.
Speaker 1:And I didn't know why I reacted to things the way that I did. I didn't know why I had anxiety or why I was like such a nervous wreck all the time and I wasn't able to really handle things in the best ways all the time because I was never taught coping skills. So a lot of times like I would just hide, I would isolate, I would cry, I didn't really understand my emotions, I didn't understand the difference between being afraid or being angry, or being overwhelmed and frustrated, and I also didn't know to ask for help, because part of our traumas is that I did ask for help. As a kid I asked for help a lot and I didn't get it. So after a certain period of time, you stop doing that and you just revert inward and during my transformation and my awakening, I realized that I was asking the wrong people and that the people that I was asking for help couldn't help me because they didn't understand and they didn't even understand enough to know what I just said to you. So it's like if someone came to me today and said I need help with this, this and that and I knew that those were areas that I couldn't help with them with I would, at the very least, help them with resources. Like you know what? I'm not a medical provider, I'm not a doctor, but I can help you contact your insurance company and I can help you get a healthcare provider Something along those lines, pointing them in the right directions. The people that I was asking for help didn't even have the education to do that.
Speaker 1:So as an adult, I realized that I was struggling a lot and that I didn't have to be. My life was super hard and super chaotic and it was affecting my own personal life, and that's what made me have a change was that I had a son of my own and I had a family that I was raising and it wasn't going well. But I knew that I was a super strong person and that I could figure it out, but that I needed a break. I needed to kind of separate myself from the crazy chaotic life that I was living and educate myself more so that I could have a peaceful one. And I think that my spiritual awakening really kind of started with me realizing that I was directing my son in similar ways, that I was raised, and being able to acknowledge that and like waking up one day and saying I made a couple of mistakes here, but one thing I do know is I'm not going to let history repeat itself. So I started finding the right people to help me and realizing that the people that I was reverting to in the past weren't the right people that I should have been asking for help. So I started going to therapy, I started reaching out to my doctor, I started contacting other people in my life and utilizing resources that I had to point me in different directions, and it started to work. Things started to fall into place. I got help from my son. I reached out to his dad and his family and made sure that they were involved and I went. I started going to therapy. I started like asking professionals for help and it changed my life Talking about things and having people explain to me why I am the way I am and why I do the things that I do and how I can change it, and then explaining to you, too, that you're on a path that can be redirected at any point in time, whenever you choose.
Speaker 1:I think that that's something that a lot of us don't understand is, like, our choices right, because this is something that I'm still learning right now is that I have so many more choices than I think that I do, because you think like, oh well, I'm on this path, I have to continue down this path. I already started here. No, at any point in time, I can jump off this path and jump right into the ocean and I'm on a new path and guess what? This is what it is now and like that's my journey. If I want my journey to have 17 different paths and sometimes you have to do that right, so that you can find out, like, what it is that you really love and wherever it is that you really want to be.
Speaker 1:And I think it's pretty cool because I like life experiences. So like people will say, oh well, you were on this path for so long and you were doing so great. And I'm like yeah, well, I got bored with that. So I went down this way now and, as far as I'm concerned, like I'm just experiencing all these things Like I don't, I don't really care about like longevity of a lot of things if I'm not happy doing it. And I think that's a beautiful part too, about like growing up and like being mature, because I know a lot of people are like well, you know, I loved it. I had so much fun Like in my twenties I didn't. I think my thirties have been the best years of my life. I've learned so much Like I'm just like so much more carefree and I don't know, just willing to just like be myself and like and just like not care about what other people have to say and really just like find things that I like to do and things that I love so much.
Speaker 2:I'm glad that you brung up like being in your happiest zone at an age that you got to know yourself, because, even though I look back on some certain areas, like of my twenties yeah, there were some fun moments, but I didn't know who I was. I was so lost. I feel like I wasted so much time. And you're right, we take all these generational traumas with us into every situation and they go into our work situations. And it was amazing because I'm reading this book called Emotional Detox Seven Steps to Cleanse. Yeah, and it's such a good book because it's really making me look inward instead of outward at other people's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2:People are thinking I overthink and analyze everything, so really getting out of my head and then just focusing on me and not worrying about what this person is thinking or feeling, as long as I understand what I'm thinking and feeling. And it was funny because I was in a situation where I was trying to do it all, because I was used to having to find the solution, be the one who figured it out all the time that I never asked for help, because I can do it, I can do it myself, I can do it, and I don't know who to turn to. So I'm just going to work it out and figure it out. And it was so funny when you talked about therapy, because I was like I went to therapy and my first day I just got in there and I was just blabbing and talking and I was like I don't know if this is nervous energy, if I'm just saying this, but I get in my car and I talk to myself just like this.
Speaker 1:You talk to yourself in your car too. Yeah, I love that so much. I love that for us.
Speaker 2:Yes, I even picture myself sometimes like accepting awards and like I have this whole speech, I do it all the time, yeah, no shame, yeah. But it was so amazing. And for her to tell me like you know, um, that's how you cope, this is how you deal with things like and just having this whole discovery, because therapy wasn't about just getting over the trauma. It was about understanding who I am and how I process my emotions and where I get some of these thoughts from, and to recognize the patterns before they start triggering and getting things out of control. I'm interested in what was the pivotal moment for you when you were like I got to make a change and I know you mentioned something about noticing your son and you were heading toward the same thing. Was it one specific thing or was it like a just multiple things?
Speaker 1:So it was multiple things, but my biggest, the biggest part of it, was my like, being overstimulated because, like you had just said, I, my entire life I lived in survival mode and, like I, I didn't really have anyone to help me and, like the people that were around me that I did ask for help would, either I would bring them a problem and I would say, like I need, I need help with this, and they would bring me back another problem and I would leave and I would have two problems and then I would fight, fight, fight, fight, dig myself out of this hole and find myself with another problem. Right Cause, that's just like life, like we're constantly evolving, we're going to run into things. That's just kind of what it is, but at no point was I ever able to take the time to smooth things out and create a process for my problems. How am I going to get from A to Z and have this make sense without killing myself? I'm just now doing that for the first time, at 33, because my entire life was survival mode, um, and I was constantly overstimulated. So with my son, I was alone with him, so I was, I was, he has a dad and his dad is involved. But I was very much like the primary parent and I.
Speaker 1:I grew up in a very toxic environment, um, and I realized that the way that I was raising my son was not going to benefit him in the future. If anything I was, I was doing a little bit of enabling and kind of sheltering him, because the only way that I knew that I could keep him safe was to keep him close was to keep him next to me was so that I could see him. If I could see him, nobody else could hurt him. But that's not the way that it works and if anything, I was doing him an injustice and his dad just being like a masculine just period. He doesn't have that same period, he doesn't have that same anxiety that I have. And I knew that he would be able to help if I could get him to really understand that things weren't going well here and that I knew why. But I needed time to myself so that I could fix it. Then he would be more on board.
Speaker 1:But the pivotal moment for me was waking up every day in constant fear that something was going to happen to my son, that I wasn't going to be able to control the situation that I wasn't going to be able to protect him and then keeping him inside because of it. It's not right. I enjoy life experiences. That's how I learn things. That's how I've learned things my entire life is. I go out and I find resources and I have experiences and I either like it or I don't. And I don't and I wasn't giving him the option to do that because I was so fearful that something was going to happen and that I was the only one responsible and I didn't know yet how to set really strong boundaries and allow him independence.
Speaker 1:And I was hurt a lot as a kid my entire childhood. I was hurt a lot, a real lot, like my entire childhood. Like I was hurt a lot, like a real lot. And, of course, those traumas right. So, like, every time he goes outside, I'm racing my mind's, racing the entire time, like, okay, like you know, these things happen to me. So like, maybe it might not be the exactly the same, but then these things could happen to him and I would allow him to like go out and like hang out with his friends. But from the time that he left the house until the time that he got back into the house, I would be spiraling the entire time and he would be having a blast. He's having a ton of fun, like he's like can't wait to get away from me. He's like out there just like, doing whatever he wants, and like I'm at the house crying on the couch, scared to death, thinking that like he's in the back of somebody's truck, and like those.
Speaker 1:But that was my trauma, um, and that's when I knew like I definitely needed help, like I needed I needed somebody to like walk me through the thoughts that I was having and like these like fears that I was projecting onto everyone. Um, but you don't know that that's happening, right, like, especially when, like no one's like explaining it to you and like the only thing you know is you have a job to do. And that's how I kind of look at everything is like I have a job to do, like this is my responsibility. If my name is attached to this, I'm responsible for it. Like I'm a very accountable person, I like to hold myself accountable for things and it means a lot to me.
Speaker 1:Um, so really, it was like looking at it like a job, like my job is to keep him safe, my job is to protect him at all times, and I can't do that if I can't see him. Now that I understand what I understand, I can do that because if I teach him everything I know and I teach him everything I learned, that's a new form of protection. Um, and my therapist. I'm not supposed to talk about the past, but God, I wish if I had known what I know now, then, like, I would have been protecting him the entire time, you know, using my words differently, making sure that he was super educated and that he understood situations so that when he was outside he could protect himself. But I was never taught to protect myself, so I didn't know to teach him that.
Speaker 1:But I think that we all learn things when we're supposed to, and I think that there's a reason that, um, I had to struggle through life a little bit and then I had to learn the things that I learned, the way that I learned them, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to teach it to other people and I wouldn't be able to have these vulnerable conversations and say that I went through a lot of stuff and it was because I wasn't educated enough to know better, so that other people don't feel shamed and they don't feel embarrassed about it.
Speaker 1:Like people will say like, oh my God, I can't believe you said that Really. Well, guess what? I didn't know and I'm like I don't care, like I think that it's important, like other people need to know that, that know that like they're not they're not alone. And like they're not they're not alone and like sometimes we're not raised in the best of environments, we're not raised with super educated parents that know to teach us like self-respect and respect and protection, and maybe they don't know enough to teach you that, but it's out there and you can find it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think me and my siblings had that same conversation not too long ago and we was just like just being at a point that we're grateful for what you know our parents could teach us, but understanding that they couldn't teach us what they don't know. And when someone else has their own trauma that they've never healed from, they can't help you heal or see the trauma themselves if they've never faced it. Some people just don't want to face the trauma and when you actually come to them especially if it's generational in the family when you come to them with the problem, they don't want to look in at themselves. It's hard to look at yourself for something that you have pushed out of your mind and just don't want to recognize. And now have someone in your face and saying, hey, our family has a problem, we need to confront this, we have to deal with it so the next generation is not cursed by it. And you just having the courage to say and I think as parents we always are scared, Like I mean, when my kids were young, like I was we moved to California and it was like a child abduction oh my gosh, it was several times a day.
Speaker 2:Production oh my gosh, it was several times a day like Amber Alerts, and I was just like, and then my mom called and she said and my mom is always a little paranoid and she said I was telling her how we walked to the library every day. And she said, well, you might want to change up your time. Someone could be watching. Never thought about it before, didn't leave the house for two weeks because I was like could someone be watching?
Speaker 2:Like I don't know, I'm, you know, my husband's at work. I am with a four-year-old and a six-month-old baby. Like what am I going to do? Could I fight? Do I have? I don't have anything. Like I'm going to beat him with a bottle, like I don't know. So it was just like that moment and don't know so. It was just like that moment. And in her defense she was just trying to, like, make sure that I was cautious. But the way she said it made me like it terrified me, like it scared me, because you have so much happening, um, so it was crazy. But I understand that overcoming, you know, personal child, um, personal traumas can help shape your approach to health and wellness too. So how has that shaped your approach when it comes to your coaching and how you approach your health?
Speaker 1:It gives me more understanding of people. I've never been a judgmental person anyway. I truly believe that people are who they are and like I'll accept them for whoever. Like it doesn't matter to me as long as they're happy. Like I just have like a strong belief in like other people's success and other people just like being happy however they see fit. But it gives you a better understanding of like somebody coming to you and being super frazzled and being able to say, like you know what, I've seen this before or I've been through this. So let's take a step back and like look at the big picture, somebody that's never exercised before, because they were never taught exercise Again. Let's look at the big picture. Like these are habits that you were never taught, these are things that you've never seen before.
Speaker 1:So introducing things like in a very gentle way, but then also pushing people and keeping them accountable I think accountability is one of my greatest strengths and it's something that I can teach people, regardless of where they've come from, what their background is, what their expertise is. Because holding yourself accountable is one of the best things that you can do for your entire life, because it's something that you're going to need forever and if you ever need a self check-in, you don't need to look to anybody to validate you. You don't need to look to anybody to remind you like. You have your little accountability checklist and it saved my life, so I can only imagine that it can really do the same thing for other people and I know everybody doesn't take responsibility super serious, but it's like if you can truly understand what it means to be accountable, truly understand that you're not reaching your potential and you're not getting to your goals because you're not holding yourself accountable, then it might change your perspective on what you're doing.
Speaker 2:I like the fact that you said accountable, because you have to have some type of accountability, even if it's to yourself. You have to look in the mirror and say you know, like am I going to be accountable for my own actions? Because that is a source of responsibility. And when you talk about, you know, health and wellness and helping other people and wellness and helping other people with, what I found out through my own journey is that the more I've learned how to take care of my emotional needs, I was it also transferred into, you know, movement and breath exercises and just doing things that made me take care of myself in all different ways. But it was more like of my, not just my physical wellness, but my spiritual self. You know physical being like mental, like all of those things encompass the whole person, and I found that to be like super, super, like transformational.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's beautiful when you can take care of your mind, body and soul. It's absolutely beautiful. And then it helps you too to not only just coach people, but when you understand yourself, you understand situations that I feel like a lot of people don't understand. Because you're so aware of my surroundings sometimes that I've noticed too that like I can't be around more than like six or seven people at a time, like I wouldn't do a coaching group of more than 10 ever, because my attention is on all 10 people at the same time, and like I think that, like I'm so aware sometimes that I now understand, like that was part of my overstimulation is that I was stretching myself far too thin. And like being able to say that like I I'm an extrovert in small groups and like really, like you said, like really knowing myself and putting myself in the situations where I belong and taking myself out of the situations that I don't um and the second that I don't feel comfortable I'm out of there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes you just got to read the room and recognize like, do like a body scan, like, am I clenching? Is my stomach clenched, you know? Like you know, is my jaw getting tight? Like, where do you hold your most tension in your body at? When you recognize that in certain situations these things happen, it's like okay, this is not the best situation, this is too much, I'm taking on a little bit more than I should. And you know there is a healthy medium that also gives you the time, because you know you want to be able to individualize and help people. So, yeah, and it's a lot of emotions, like I think coaching people like it's you take on a lot of emotions because you're meeting them where they're at and it looks different for each person. And I'm just curious in your journey, have you found that there's like such thing as balance between being the physical training and the nurturing of the spiritual growth? Like, do you feel like there's a holistic nature when it comes to that aspect?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, because when you do better, you feel better. So I would suggest that to everybody. I'll work out for the rest of my life. It's changed my mentality like 60 percent of it. I would say maybe even 70, like 70-30. So 70 has been physical fitness, 30 a bit nutrition. But that's because I find that working out and being able to meditate while I run and moving my body has done amazing things for me. It stimulates my mind at the same time, because I like to do more than one thing at a time. So I can be on the treadmill and I'm manifesting, I'm running, running, running, manifesting. I'm down south running, I have all my dogs, I got my chickens in the yard, I'm planning, and then I can bring that back to other people and say you know, this is how this worked for me. Hopefully it'll work for you.
Speaker 1:And then just recently I, um, I took a flexology course and I'm starting to understand, like, what stretching can really do for the body and how stretching is absolutely amazing and it can do so many more things than just stretch your muscles. Stretching can help you, um, really like, stretch your brain waves. It can help you. Stretch um with like when it comes to, like, anxiety. It can help you stretch. Um, I mean, it can help you with, like anxiety, like really just being able to kind of stretch and release. So stretching yourself can release all types of stress. It can help you release your cortisone levels. It can help you like realize breath work, cause when you're stretching you're typically like in a calm state. So it's really like changed the game for me.
Speaker 1:So, between physical activity and stretching, moving my body, letting out those endorphins, and really releasing a lot of that tension and stress. It lets on for new things, like it lets you be open to new possibilities and it gives you room for growth, because when you get rid of the old, then you make room for the new. And I think that that's the most important part, right, is you can't continue to move on to the phases of your life If you're going to continue to hold on to everything that's old. So it's like really releasing that stuff and I've released that through working out, I released that through stretching, I released that through having these conversations and really just like talking about it, right, because it's like it's in and it's out.
Speaker 1:So it does. It transforms you spiritually, it transforms you physically, it transforms you mentally, and then you can put it all together. So you're working out, you're releasing all those stresses, you're getting rid of, you're really like de-stressing through your stretching and your physical activity. Then you're going home and now you're nourishing your body. Well, so now it's like your brain is super happy, your body is super happy, your soul is going to start to feel better once you start sleeping better and when they all interconnect and they're all working as the unit, like you have this perfectly oiled machine and now you can just continue to grow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember when I first started my own journey, I think the biggest thing that I started doing first was sleeping, having making sure that I'm getting enough sleep so that my body can reset, decompress, and in the next day I could wake up and be prepared to get my mind in the right state of you know, just really connect with myself without all of yesterday's thoughts and worries. You know being the first thing, because when you don't get enough sleep, you know the body doesn't reset like it's supposed to. So I'm just interested in understanding how do you guide someone who's at the beginning of their own journey?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I mean I would say something as simple as, like affirmations. So a lot of things that I recommend are very simple and don't even entail exercise at first. Um so, light meditations. So I started with reading a book it was um mind control by Dr De Silva, and it's available on audible and really he teaches you how to how to just do five to 10 minute meditations and then it's affirmation work.
Speaker 1:So, like I am affirmations, I have affirmations, I love affirmations, and a lot of it is really just about loving yourself first. And then what does that look like to you? Like I, samantha, I, samantha Mazzola, love myself, and I love myself because I'm a kind, gentle person. I, samantha Mazzola, love myself because I know that I'm worth it. And then really just kind of manifesting what does a future life look for you and how do you see that, and just taking like a solid 30 to 60 days to really just do your affirmations, work on light meditations, try to get into really good sleeping patterns, and then incorporating all of the things and all of the manifestations that you thought and that you considered for yourself and then trying to make a plan with it that you considered for yourself and then trying to make a plan with it.
Speaker 1:And I think stability is huge because as long as you're stable and you're in a stable environment, you should be able to create all of those things. So I think that sometimes we find ourselves in super stressful situations and then we try to do our transformations at the same time. That can be a lot, so I wouldn't suggest that to anybody. So, finding your stability and then slowly working towards those goals and slowly just incorporating, like I said, the meditations, the affirmations, healthy sleeping patterns and what does a healthy lifestyle look like for you? And then, if you need help with those visions, reaching out to someone talking to a coach, like what are some different options of a healthy lifestyle and how can I kind of see myself fitting into this and getting ideas from other people.
Speaker 2:You gave you dropped like so many good gems on just helping people get started at a starting point. Do you have any like what about people that feel stuck and they're like I see you've done it. I understand you went through, you know, like all this trauma. I get it, but I don't know, like if I could do it. I'm so uncertain about my own path in life, like how do I get unstuck?
Speaker 1:so I would say that's. There's so many different ways that you could really start, but I'm just the simplest. I think I would say what's with self-love is really looking at yourself and saying, like, how much do I love myself? And when I say that, it means like, what am I willing to put up with? What is it that I'm lacking, or what do I feel like I'm lacking? So really just like looking in the mirror and trying to understand where it is that you're struggling, cause that's how I started, right as I look, right. I'm way too hard on myself, though, but like so I I.
Speaker 1:One day I got up, I looked in the mirror and I was like a lot of this needs to change, like I'm not doing well and I need to know why. Writing it down what is it that needs to change? Like why is it that I'm unhappy? Because you have to understand the areas of error that you can fix them. You have to understand if you're truly flawed or if it's something that you're being suppressed from your past, like. You need to know the difference, but you also need to know what your future looks like. You need to have a good understanding of what it is that you want. But all of that starts with loving yourself first loving yourself enough to make those changes. So I would say, if somebody was just starting out and they were super, super stuck and they didn't know where to start, I would start with I love affirmations before going to bed and when they first wake up, I love myself. And then why and I would do that for a solid 15 days and I would put it on the calendar and on day 15, I would wake up and I would set a new goal. I would continue with the I love myself affirmations and why I love myself, and then I would take the next 15 days to decide where it is that I want over the next 60 to 90 day period. I love myself because and this is what I deserve, this is what I want.
Speaker 1:And picturing that, I started with a vision board. So I created a vision board and I posted it in my bedroom and I put it right in front of my bed. So every day when I woke up, it was the first thing I seen. Every night before I went to sleep, it was the first thing I seen and it was just like something simple. It was like a picture that had this sign with a sleep.
Speaker 1:It was the first thing I seen and it was just like something simple, like it was like a picture that had like this sign with, like a heart. It was a woman. She was like meditating by the beach, she was doing yoga. It was the favorite car that I've always wanted. There was two of them a motorcycle, a picture of dogs, a picture of chickens and it was just all things that I loved.
Speaker 1:It was a picture of a classroom filled with kids and they were all learning, they were all reading books. A picture I think there was, like there was a workout picture on there, just like the simplest of things that brought me a lot of joy and things that I wanted to incorporate into my life. You don't need to know how you're going to do it, you don't need to know, like, all of the planning of it, but it's like something as simple as visualizing, because once you see it and you continue to see it like your brain is going, your subconscious is there, like it's seeing. It's seeing what you're putting out there, and so is the universe.
Speaker 2:So continue to put it out there and let things fall into place. Well, what I'm hearing is the first thing you need to do is start with self-love, and the best way to start that is to start a practice that's going to be dedicated to giving back and understanding why you love yourself, because sometimes we don't love ourselves the way we should love ourselves and love on ourselves. So, waking up in the morning saying, committing yourself to 15 days of affirmations of saying I love you, I love myself and why. And then I like the fact that you said on day 15, you get up and then you start not just saying it but you add something else on to that I love myself, why this is the future I deserve, this is the life I deserve and this is what I want to see.
Speaker 2:Me and my youngest daughter, we do vision boards at least twice a year. Twice during the year we do a vision board. This is the first year I've got my oldest daughter to do a vision board and she just brung the stuff over and she was like, oh, I came over to do a vision board and I was just like, and then she was like mommy, do you got a journal? Because I keep like all these journals. And I was just like and then she was like mommy, do you got a journal? Cause I keep like all these journals? And I was like, yes, I have a journal, are you going to start journaling?
Speaker 2:And she was like I think I would have so much more peace and I can be able to reflect. And I'm like, who is this child? But it's so beautiful. You can teach people or share, you know. But I think it was just her seeing me do it and not just talking about it, but constantly saying it and doing it and then showing her how you can do it. It doesn't have to be, like you said, big steps, but the little things, the small steps, inch by inch.
Speaker 1:And my son. So my son is 14 and like I'll say to him, like he understands manifestation because I talk about it all the time and like one day we were in the car and I was like you're going to manifest the rest of your not the rest of your life, but like you're going to manifest as much as you can manifest for your future right now. He was like well, what does that mean? That you want to drive the career that you want to have, and I don't care if it's a rock star, like if you, if you picture yourself sitting on the moon, that's where you're going to talk about. You're going to say it out loud.
Speaker 1:He went off, I, we. It was like 35 minutes of like he described the car that he wanted down to a T, the house that he was going to live in. Um, he was like at a concert, he was performing on stage and like it was amazing and like he felt so good afterwards and like even just getting them to like use words and then cause like once they start talking about it, then they can start visioning it and then putting that onto a vision board. So it's like it can start with something as simple as a conversation.
Speaker 2:And you just got to keep seeing it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't happen within that year. You just keep seeing it and you will definitely get there. Just keep picturing it. It will come into fruitation, absolutely yes. So before we wrap things up, I do have to ask you, when it comes to your own personal practice, is there anything that you use or that you do on a daily basis that is helping you redefine what self-care looks like for you and showing up for yourself on a daily?
Speaker 1:I would say journaling and meditation. So I try to journal every day. Of course I'm not perfect, so I don't end up doing that every day, but I do find that when I can journal three days out of the week, I always feel so much better Putting those thoughts on a piece of paper and then meditating anywhere from five to 10 minutes, even if you're just sitting in your car before you go inside People I think they overthink it Sometimes. You can do it anywhere. You can meditate in your car, you can meditate in the bathroom, you know, if you have kids and you're never left alone. Just standing in the bathroom for five minutes and giving yourself five minutes of just rest, of just like relaxing, just giving your brain five minutes to just recuperate itself, those are like my two quick and easy go-tos.
Speaker 2:I love that you said. Meditation is like you said. It's quick If all you're doing is taking a few breaths and people don't realize that they're doing it without really knowing that they're doing it. Anytime you pull up in front of your house and you don't get out right away and you're just sitting in silence in the car. You may not realize it, but you are meditating, my friend. That's what you're doing, because you are resetting your mind, preparing yourself to walk into the house and to show up as a version of you that you want for your family and yourself. Absolutely yes. So tell people where they can connect with you and learn more about how you can guide them through reaching their own wellness journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. So you can find me on my website, which is coachingintotransformationcom. You can find me on Instagram with training with Sam, so it's training W Sam. I also have a TikTok, which is also training with Sam. I just recently put out a cookbook which I'm super excited about. Yeah, so that can be found on the TikTok shop, it can be found on Amazon and it can be purchased on my website again, which is coachingintotransformationcom.
Speaker 2:Awesome. And don't worry you guys, I'm going to have all that information for you in the show notes so you can connect with Samantha, get that cookbook and you know, just start the journey. Start where you're at, meet yourself where you are All right, samantha, thank you so much for adjusting. It's so amazing and sharing, you know, not just your journey but all the tips, and tricks and tools that you've used that have helped others. So thank, you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on. This was so wonderful, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:All right, you guys. That is all the tea that we have to spill today, but guess what? You get to join me next week for more delicious hot tea. Until next time, my friends, namaste.
