Ep 131 Wellness Without Labels: Say What You Feel, Not What You’ve Been Told

In this episode of Thym 4 Tea with Mikita, we’re unpacking what happens when we stop labeling ourselves as "overwhelmed," "anxious," or "depressed"—and start getting real about what we’re actually feeling. Mikita shares how storytelling, emotional vocabulary, and tiny daily actions create space for healing, connection, and growth. With vulnerability and warmth, she walks us through her own journey of anxiety, imposter syndrome, and rediscovery, proving that wellness isn’t a one-size-fits-all path—it’s personal, portable, and rooted in truth.

💡 Show Notes:

• 🎧 Why the labels we use (like “stressed” or “burnt out”) might be holding us back
• 📚 A powerful quote by Brené Brown and what it really means for healing
• 📊 Shocking wellness stats (6.8 trillion market!)—and why that doesn't mean we're okay
• 🧠 Why emotional vocabulary is the missing link in most wellness advice
• ✨ Mikita’s personal story of anxiety, breathwork, and discovering the root emotion
• 🛠️ Actionable tips for claiming micro-moments for self-care
• 🧘🏽‍♀️ Simple practices you can start today: Box breathing, journaling, naming emotions
• 💬 The real impact of saying, “I feel stretched thin” instead of just “I’m overwhelmed”
• 🙌 A community call to try one small practice this week—DM me on IG @mikitasmith_ 

Chapters

• 0:00 Your Story is Your Power
• 4:18 Wellness Industry: Labels vs. Action
• 9:15 Owning Your Truth with Grounded Confidence
• 14:30 Beyond Labels: Identifying True Emotions
• 19:50 Micro-Moments for Mental Wellness
• 26:40 Challenge and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

It's about developing the grounded confidence to own your truth without shame and without needing to make it easy for others to digest. It's okay if people get uncomfortable in your truth. Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with big dreams who started a podcast with an old headset and a laptop at my kitchen table and made my dreams come true. On my podcast, time for Tea with Makita, we chat about living life unapologetically, on your terms, from career advice, entrepreneurship, relationships and everything in between. This is your one-stop shop for real conversations and inspiration. If you're looking for connection, then you've found it here. Join me every Tuesday as we dive into those sometimes hard to have conversations. So grab your cup of tea or coffee and get comfy, because this is time for Tea with Makita and the tea is definitely hot. Ever feel like you need a superpower boost of motivation with exclusive tips and tools with your goals in mind? Well, say hello to your new inspiration hotspot the Tuesday Tea Newsletter, your weekly infusion of big thinking energy that will propel you to chase your wildest dreams and never shy away from using the power of your voice. Sign up for the Tuesday Tea Newsletter today at beautifullyunbalancedcom and elevate your goals to the next level. Welcome back. It is time for tea and I'm your host, makita. I want to thank you so much for sharing your time, your space and your energy with me today. Now, I know you could be anywhere doing anything, but you're here with me and my friend. That means a lot.

Speaker 1: 1:43

In today's episode, we're unpacking a lot. I mean a lot. We're talking about why labels like stress, anxious, overwhelmed, depressed can have you feeling trapped, and how understanding your emotions can spark healing, and why all the wellness knowledge in the world means nothing without action. So I'm going to start off today with a quote by Brene Brown and I'm going to bring this quote back. But this quote when I heard it, it just opened up so much for me. Brene Brown says if we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and to be stewards of the stories that we hear.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Now, on that note, grab your cup of tea, get comfy and let's have some real talk. So let's first dive into why telling our story heals. Let's set some foundation for this, because the thing is we live in a world where it's easy to get distracted from who we are between the grind and the expectations and just trying to keep it all together. Sometimes it can feel like you're starting to edit yourself, shrink parts of your story so you don't take up too much space, but here's the truth. Your story is your power. Here's the truth. Your story is your power. When you speak your truth, you reclaim parts of yourself that you may have buried or been ashamed of.

Speaker 1: 3:33

When we stop performing and start transforming, we start laying the foundation for personal growth, and that means peeling back the layers of labels. And you don't have to have it all figured out. Trust me, I'm still on the journey. You just need the courage to say this is where I've been and this is who I'm becoming. I feel, like today, when we take all of that into context, of owning our story.

Speaker 1: 4:16

When we look at today, the world we live in, where labels are attached to everything you cannot go anywhere or do anything without a label and to give you some context of what I mean by labels and how far wellness has come and yet how far we still have to go, I'm going to take you back to 2005, when wellness was a small club. I want you to thank gym memberships for the dedicated or herbal teas being only found in health food stores. The global wellness market was around about $1.5 trillion, and mental health was not a topic most people talked about, with only one in four Americans at that time were seeking therapy due to the stigma. Now, if you fast forward to today, wellness is about $6.8 trillion and is projected to hit $9 trillion. Can you believe that $9 trillion in four years? A study from McKinsey in 2004, they did this survey that found that 82% of the US consumers prioritize wellness, with 68% of therapists reporting having more patients than ever. In fact, right now, it is hard to find a therapist because there are not enough therapists. You have everything at this moment from online therapy, you have Fitbits to track your steps, you have apps that offer mindless reminders track your steps, you have apps that offer mindless reminders and you can find gut health supplements in almost every cart in every household. And just to bring a little bit more context to that, 43% of Americans right now prioritize their digestion, and this was a report from Numerators in 2004.

Speaker 1: 6:05

But here's the thing the labels haven't gone away. People are prioritizing their health, but there's still all of these labels and not enough talk about actionable steps. There's not enough about getting to the root, about getting to the root, because back then, when you would feel down or sad, the first thing that someone would tell you is you're depressed, or you might hear words like shut down. You know the labels have changed. You know, instead of saying depressed or shut down, today you hear things like burnout and you would start to scroll for solutions. And I feel like these labels oversimplify. It's hiding the why behind the feeling. And while knowledge is at everyone's fingertips, it's everywhere In this world of technology. All you have to do is search health tips or ask chat. But the truth is, knowledge is useless without actions and without being able to identify. It's hard to take action when you don't have the emotional vocabulary to express and communicate what you're feeling and why you're feeling it.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Now I read that there was a report done in Wellable. This report shows that 86% of employers are boosting mental health programs and I can say where I work at now currently mental health is everything. But the problem is many employees don't use them because for one, it's easy to say prioritize your mental health and we have these things for you. But the thing is, when will I be able to do this Between doing the work for the company and getting home and doing all the duties and responsibilities you have. The thing is not understanding that you need to prioritize your wellness. It's about where do you start. Understanding that you need to prioritize your wellness, it's about where do you start. And that's why I feel like wellness without labels means ditching the tags, getting curious about your emotions and acting on what you learn in tiny ways. It doesn't have to be these big grand gestures. I'm talking about small steps. So what does that all mean?

Speaker 1: 8:45

If you remember when I started, I started off with this quote by Brene Brown, and let's unpack that, because in the quote it said if we find it says, if we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and to be stewards of the stories that we hear. So let me explain what that means to me. And we all have different perspectives of life. We've all have different experiences, so the context in which that quote will mean to you may be different, and that's fine, but for me, in the context of personal growth, it reminds me that healing and self-discovery starts with honesty and vulnerability. Telling our own stories, especially the messy ones, the imperfect ones. Telling our own stories, especially the messy ones, the imperfect ones, help you to make sense of who you are and what you've been through and where you're going.

Speaker 1: 10:25

I was listening to a clip with Cat Williams and I believe he was on a podcast and he was talking about being a hero and heroes in movies, and what he said was that if you write down every challenge you've ever faced in your life, if you wrote it all down and you think about how you overcame those challenges, those moments when you thought there was no way out, when you thought you had hit rock bottom but somehow you persevered, that's a hero, that's the story of a hero. And when we show up and share those stories and those are the messy stories those are the true, raw, honest stories that break us down. That leaves us open for vulnerability, but those are the stories that remind us that we're not alone. This isn't just about talking. It's about developing the grounded confidence to own your truth without shame and without needing to make it easy for others to digest. It's okay if people get uncomfortable in your truth and when I think about this in the terms of wellness, for me, it points to the deep connection between emotional well-being and community, because growth doesn't happen in isolation, even though sometimes we feel like we're alone. In moments you're not, especially when you're able to share your stories and hold space for others to share theirs. When we create a safe healing environment, that's community and that's when you're being a steward of someone else's story. It means listening with empathy, without judgment or the urge to fix, and I know that's hard because some of us are natural fixers. Our role is to step in and make it better. But most of the times when I talk to anyone, the only thing they want is for someone to see them and hear them, and sometimes just saying something out loud can spark something in someone to be like I know what I need to do next. It's part of the healing, that kind of mutual care. It fosters belonging and emotional resilience that's both essential to well-being. In short, I chose this quote because it teaches that language, storytelling and presence are tools for reconnecting with ourselves and with others, and in that reconnection we grow, we heal and we thrive.

Speaker 1: 12:46

When I think back to 20-year-old Makita, when I think about the labels I put on myself, I remember there were times when I felt sad and I would immediately say, oh my gosh, I'm going through this depression or I'm depressed. A lot of times it wasn't that I was depressed. Sometimes I was just lonely and what I wanted and what I was craving was emotional connection. And when I got out and connected with my friends and family, it reminded me that this is what I needed. It wasn't that I was depressed. I was feeling alone and I needed the connection. And we are emotional humans, we crave connection. And sometimes when we feel lonely, it's not that we're always depressed. And sometimes, when we feel lonely, it's not that we're always depressed.

Speaker 1: 13:58

And I just want to say I'm not against labels, but I think sometimes, when we just identify with the label, I remember the one thing I would always say no matter what was shy, I'm shy. Well, as you can tell, I'm not that shy. And it's not that I was shy, I just felt you know, just like anyone else. You know just like anyone else, when you meet people you don't know, you're so caught up in your own thoughts, in your head, wondering what other people are thinking about you. And the truth is they're not thinking about you, they're thinking about themselves. They're wondering the same thing you're wondering. They don't know what to say and they're trying to figure out, you know where to put their hands, how to not feel like they're sticking out or how to fit in.

Speaker 1: 14:50

We are all having our first human experience. We are all trying to figure this thing out and instead of saying I'm shy, instead now I'll be like you know, I'm not shy, you know I just I get in my own head and I worry about what other people are thinking and it keeps me from really being present in the moment and experiencing life and the opportunity that I have to even be in some of the spaces that I'm called to be in. Now I don't think about it as much, you know there. Of course, there's times when we are unsure and our confidence feels a little off, but those are great reminders for me to be like. Trust me, everybody in this room is feeling some of what you're feeling, and that takes the edge off of it that we're all in the same space and we're all going through the same emotions, and it allows you to get out of your head and then drop the label and then just remember that you're just a human having an experience, feeling emotions, but the key is to recognize that it is an emotion. Everything is attached to some feeling or emotion, whether it's fear, whether it's doubt, whether it's just feeling too vulnerable and raw in the moment. If you can recognize that, if you can identify that, then you're one step closer. Closer. When we skip the labels, we go deeper. We get to know who we are without the label. We get to learn how to communicate our feelings in a much deeper and clearer way, and when we do that, we get to have more confidence, meaningful relationships with our families, with our kids, with our partners, and we teach them how they can start communicating their emotions and feelings. Now I'm not going to say that this is something that is going to just going to wake up and be like oh, I got it, and no, it's constant.

Speaker 1: 17:13

The most recent for me is a few years ago. I was dealing with this overwhelming sense of anxiety and I would wake up with it. I wore it with me like a cloak all day long. It went to bed with me. No matter what I did, I could not get rid of it, and it was heavy. I started doing yoga, I started changing the way I eat. I started going to bed at a certain time thinking maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I got my weighted blanket. I was doing the things that, like you say, you scroll, you can find a whole lot of stuff. I was drinking the cow milk tea. This feeling of anxiousness just would not leave me.

Speaker 1: 18:07

And I remember reading something about just taking a moment to breathe. And I remember just sitting outside my room in the floor with the mat and just taking deep breaths and breathing, and it was the most calming experience I've ever felt, because the only thing I was thinking about at the moment was hearing and feeling the air in and out, just in and out. And it eased the anxiousness, it eased the feeling. And after a couple more days I started asking myself what's happening? Why do you feel this way? What's going on? What's the emotion? What are you feeling? And in that moment I realized that I was having this feeling of being an imposter and I felt like someone's going to call me out and say you are not who you claim to be. And then I had to dig a little deeper into why I felt that way. You know, like why did I feel? Like I couldn't own who I was in my story? I couldn't own who I was in my story and that's what I mean about peeling away the labels and taking the labels away, because without that, without being able to identify the emotion and drawing all of that out and getting to know where I was in the moment, I would have probably still be living with that anxiety and taking medication for it without going deeper. Sometimes we have to go deeper. Sometimes you first have to name your emotion without leaning on the labels.

Speaker 1: 20:10

Calling yourself overwhelmed. It's like a dead end. Saying I'm stretched thin because I'm balancing work and family opens a door and it opens a conversation for you to have with other people in your circle so that they can offer support. Saying you're overwhelmed doesn't tell people anything. Overwhelmed by what, like what's happening. You need to be able to say, not that I'm overwhelmed, I feel stretched thin because I'm trying to balance my work and take the kids to practice and cook the food and help them with schoolwork. That way you are communicating with people in your circle, your support group, and you're saying what you need. You need to find balance and you need to find that by having someone help you with some of the things that are happening. But you can't do that if you don't have the emotional vocabulary to understand what's happening.

Speaker 1: 21:11

If you take 30 seconds and ask yourself what am I feeling and why? And I'm going to tell you now. Don't just ask yourself this question once. Ask yourself the question why? At least three times. Because the first time you're going to get the surface answer. The second time you're going to dig a little deeper and the third time you're going to tell the truth. And if you're comfortable with writing it down, do that. Write it in the notes in your phone. If you feel comfortable, whisper it, talk to yourself about it in the meditation. Meditation, you know, self-care starts with you and wellness is part of self-care. It helps you to see the root of your struggle and it starts the healing process. And remember to start small. Start where you are. Knowledge like knowing breath work reduces stress, or knowing that taking a quick walk for five minutes will help boost your mood.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Your favorite song. I know for me if I one of my I'm going to say rituals, but one of the things that I do when I get on a plane because I do not like to fly. Well, I love to fly, I'm just afraid of heights. So I get really, really nervous and my anxiety goes up, and I know why because I don't like heights. I fell from a tree when I was a kid and ever since then, like the idea of being up is just too much, and I also feel as if I am not in control. And not being in control really gives me anxiety. I know this about myself. I know that when I get on the plane I have something that keeps me grounded and centered, and it's music. And it's not just any music. I have one particular song that I listen to that grounds me, it centers me for some reason and it just takes my mind off of everything and it sets the mood.

Speaker 1: 23:23

You know, wellness is about tiny, intentional actions that fit your life. But you have to take action. Maybe you name a feeling and realize you're tense, just like me on the plane. You know, I recognized the feeling of feeling out of control, feeling anxious. I realized that was tense and maybe for you it's a stretch, maybe for you it's a quick jog, maybe it's saying something, affirmations like I'm grateful, maybe it's texting or telling your friend. You know it could be whatever makes you feel centered. You start fitting this into your day during a commute, at lunch or while waiting for the laundry if you're doing laundry.

Speaker 1: 24:21

I had a friend that I work with that said every morning, her and a group of friends would have a group conversation where only thing they did was each person would choose an affirmation or a script from the Bible and they would read it. It worked. It set the tone for the day. It gave them a chance to be centered and aligned and it also gave them community and a chance to heal and say this is what I need today. It's not just doing something. It's about showing yourself you're worth the effort and doing that one thing. Life can sometimes feel like a sprint, always going. It never ends work, errands, family but you can claim tiny pockets to reconnect with yourself.

Speaker 1: 25:22

Try a one minute box breath. This is when you inhale for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, hold it for four seconds and then exhale for four seconds. Now you can redo this in any way that works with you. You are in control of this situation. You do what works for you. Now, one thing I love about doing breath, work and meditation is you can do it anywhere, in your car, at a desk. You can keep a sticky note at your desk, if it works for you with affirmations on it that says I'm enough. I love buying pens with affirmations on it. I have one that says today you don't have to be perfect. So when I read this, it's just a reminder for me to slow down and it's okay.

Speaker 1: 26:11

These micro moments are like a recharge. It's a way to ground you, center you. You know, it's not like before, where wellness meant going to the gym. Now wellness is portable. You can take it with you on your phone. You can take it with you anywhere.

Speaker 1: 26:44

Wellness, like breathwork, is amazing because it uses your body to process emotions. It's small acts that heal by keeping you connected to your feelings, to slow you down a little bit and help you to show up All right. There you have it Simple ways to start taking away the labels, naming your emotions, doing small acts, stealing little micro moments each and every day that connect you, ground you and give you an opportunity to connect with yourself. Wellness isn't about drowning in knowledge or hiding behind the labels. It's about understanding your emotions and taking action to heal, no matter where life takes you. I challenge you to try one practice this week that's either naming a feeling, doing one small action or claiming a micro moment. Share it with me and Beautiful and Balanced community. You can DM me on Instagram. I am here for your wins. Now, if this episode sparked something, subscribe to Time for Tea with Makita. Drop a review. Let's keep this real talk conversation going. I want you to remember to keep exploring, keep showing up and remember to stay beautifully unbalanced. Until next time, my friends namaste.